*takes a deep breathe and let’s it out slowly
Warning: This is a wordy post*
I don’t really bring up my faith a ton, I don’t shove it in people’s faces or preach. I definitely am not the preachy type. I mention God often in my posts so you must either assume or know I believe in him and I am a Christian. I shudder to say that word because I know a good majority of people think Christians are judgmental, think they are perfect people. We aren’t - at least I’m not and I know a lot of people who aren’t that way either.
I also don’t like bringing up my faith directly because I am the last person on earth who should be telling anyone what the Christian way is. I’m very far from a “good” Christian.
I drink.
I cuss.
I smoke.
Remember I said I was going to share all of me?
I rarely go to church, mainly because I haven’t found a church I love.
I have only read some of the bible.
But I believe in God with my whole heart.
But even with all this. “I think Jesus understands a heart like mine.”
If you watch the History channel then you know they are doing a series on the bible. We started watching it last night, starting on episode one. I really hope God understood my heart as tears flowed hard and fast down my cheeks when I saw Abraham was suppose to sacrifice his son Isaac because God asked him too. I hope he understands the instant confusion I had as to why on earth he would make him kill his kid. {He didn’t by the way it was a test and he passed.} I hope he understood the instant pain and hate I had toward Abraham for agreeing to do it.
Tears hit my blanket one right after the other, my chest was tight and my mouth was hanging open in horror – yet I couldn’t look a way. But, I hope he also understands that I understand it was a test for Abraham and I am beyond thrilled he didn’t have to kill his son.
There were other parts of the show I couldn’t fathom. Parts of the bible I have never read were coming to life right there on my TV. By the time I fell asleep I had a million questions racing through my mind & I think I understand God a little more, even if I am still so very confused about a few things.
But, this is already getting lengthy and I don’t want it to be a novel – so I will ask my questions in another post, so I can explain why I am asking.
Are you watching The Bible on the history channel? If so, do you like it? Are you like me and both in awe of God and wanting a few answers as well? I would love to know your thoughts on this!
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PS, the phrase “I need to be a better Christian” or “I’m not a good Christian” is true of every single person on this planet. We ALL fall short. If someone starts calling themselves a “good Christian,” I want to run the other direction.
I have so so so many questions for God. Just when I think I have come to peace with the lack of answers, I have more questions. That is where faith comes in. It’s hard to imagine that the Bible happened to real people, like you and me. But lately, I have been imagining the Bible stories from a different perspective: first person. It’s hard to do, and really strange.
I am with you. I KNOW my God exists. I KNOW my God loves me. It makes me sad that the word Christian doesn’t really mean much anymore. But, I try.
I don’t have cable or even basic channels hooked up at my house, but I hope to catch the Bible series on either Hulu or Netflix very soon.
Love your post, Cassie, love your heart!
xoxo,
Gayle | Grace for Gayle
I am glad you wrote this post hon, I feel the same as you do as many do I am sure for none of us our perfect only God is. But I do believe in him and I pray every night has since I was a little girl. I do not feel you have to go to any church to believe in God, nor confess your sins to a priest only to God for only he has the power to forgive. OK won’t carry on..lol Thank you for sharing
love you
Thanks so much for this comment momma & I am so happy you liked this post!
Love you too!
I dvr the episodes each week, we will start watching it next week! You are so truly blessed Cassie. God is a forgiving and nonjudgmental God, he prayed over prostitutes, drunks, etc those are the people that God wants the most. We are all sinners saved by grace, I ask God daily to forgive me for my sins, because I do sin against him, each and every day! I dont drink, cuss or smoke.. But I used to drink, cuss like a fish the Lord took it away from me! I didnt do it, he did! I rededicated my life to Christ August 1999 and ever since them I havent looked back! Also God will test us to see how much we love him and if we trust him, if you dont pass the test it will come right back around again! All I can say to you is your a blessed woman, with a wonderful spouse and 2 blessed sons, God is faithful!
I don’t have tv, but on the Bible app for iPhone they have been posting bits of episodes…I think I would really enjoy the show. It’s so cool seeing God in history come to life…and to see that He really is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow! I will definitely be buying the dvd set once it hits Costco shelves
Thank you for the post as well…I agree that most people think we as Christians are judgemental and hypocritical…and while there are some that ARE like that (which there is in all religious and atheistic circles), it’s so cool to read a post by someone who is all about the relationship with Christ! That is, after all, why He created us…to have a relationship with us!
Jade
You should definitely watch the show, it is really good and really eye opening! Oh my gosh, yes – whoever decided to turn the bible into a series on TV was a genius! Thank you so much for your comment – I agree, there are some Christians who are that way but they shouldn’t be and it drives me batty that people think that’s how we are!