On Friday in my coffee date post, I talked about how friendship has been on my mind lately. Friendship is something I’ve struggled with since becoming a mother. I lost quite a few friends when I found out I was pregnant and I tried not to let it get to me because I was 18, almost 19 at the time. Most of my friends were partying and I couldn’t, but it was still hard to accept that my “friends” left me when I needed them the most. As time went on, I found best friends through family members and the memories I created with them were amazing, but things happened. Some things I’ve opened up about on here and some things I haven’t. For the other friendships that didn’t end for a reason, life just got busy and we just kind of went our separate ways. Then I found wonderful friends through blogging. I never expected to connect on such a level with people I didn’t personally know, but it wasn’t long before most of those friendships faded as well.
It also wasn’t long before I began questioning certain friendships falling through the cracks because of me. I know not all of it is my fault, but I can take responsibility for alot of it. The thing is since my back got messed up, I am no longer a convenient friend. My life changed in a very drastic way when my back decided to go and eff up, but I try to deal with it the best I can. I’m still trying to do all the normal things mothers & stay at home moms do on a daily bases while trying to maintain relationships with family and friends, but I get it…
I get that it’s not convenient to have to text or call me first. There are days that I just have quite a bit going on, especially days where I am hurting alot, that I just don’t think to pick up the phone and say, “Hey, how are you?”
I get it that it’s not convenient to ask me to lunch last minute or invite me over and I can’t just drop everything I’m doing anymore to be right over. There are quite a few days where it takes so much out of me just to keep my house somewhat in order, take care of my kids, our new puppy, my husband, and doing things that I like to do, that I have to have an advanced notice because there are just days where the pain stops me from being able to do anything.
I get that it’s not convenient to read my blog and comment on it, when I’m not doing the same to yours all the time anymore. Especially lately, between everything above and now being pregnant, I barely have time/energy to blog, let alone do everything that comes with blogging.
I get that it not convenient to be my friend right now and I’m sorry for that, but I try to make an effort with those I care about. Whether it’s a text message, answering a phone call when I don’t really want to talk, sending a quick tweet, or leaving a little comment on IG. I put in the effort in even with all I struggle with so, it always baffles me that my friends can’t do the same. It’s not everyone and I know every one’s busy. I have friends who take the time to text me or call me and it’s always nice and I always make the time to respond or talk.
It would just be nice to know that the people I thought would be here when it’s not convenient, to actually be here. Ya know?
I truly appreciate all the friends and family who have stuck by me during this hard time in my life.