Happy 5th Birthday Kage!

Happy Birthday sweet boy! We celebrated your birthday last weekend since your birthday was the day after thanksgiving, and during your party, you were surrounded by people who love you. You have been a bright light in my world since the day you were born. You are outgoing and creative, sweet and stubborn, and most of all loving. I just wanted to take a moment and tell you how much I love you sweet boy! When I was going through my pictures of you, I couldn’t believe how big you’ve gotten and how proud I am of you for the wonderful little boy you are. Watching you grow and learn these past five years has been amazing and I can’t wait to watch you grow over the years. Don’t ever lose who you truly are Kage, because the personality you have is rare and it’s beautiful, don’t ever let the world take that from you! I love you Kage! Love, Momma!

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10 Things I’m Thankful For

I absolutely love thanksgiving. Not only is there yummy food involved, but it’s a time for us to reflect on all we are thankful for. I decided to share ten things I’m thankful for this year.

1. I am thankful for a God who loves me and who understands me. For a God who knows all of me and loves me despite my flaws.

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2. My husband. I am so thankful to be going through this life with him. He has always been my rock, my comfort zone, my everything. I would be lost without him. I love him so much and I thank God for bringing him into my life.

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3. My kids. They are the light in my world. They bring me so much happiness and joy. I became a mom at 19 and I knew even then that I was supposed to be a mom. I have my bad moments with parenting and I get frustrated with my kids, but I love them more than anything.

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4. I’m so thankful the twins are doing well. I was so worried they would have a lot of complications, but they don’t and I’m so beyond thankful for that. I could never picture my life as a twin mom and now that they are here, I can’t picture my life without them.

5. Our home. So many people don’t have a home unfortunately, they don’t have a place they can always go to get warm or spend with family. It makes me realize how lucky we are to have a home.

6. Family. I have a pretty great family, including in-laws. I’m thankful to have a huge family who I love and who loves me. Family get togethers are always a great time with such a big family! :)

7. Friends. I don’t have a bunch of friends, I tend not to trust people so my group of friends is small and trustworthy. I am so thankful for them though, for always having someone to turn to who just gets me and being able to be there for them in the way they need because I get them too.

8. I’m thankful for a “messy” home. I don’t mean messy in the sense of trash laying everywhere or dishes staked in the sink. I mean messy as in clothes laying on the floor 2 feet from the hamper {it drives me crazy lol} or not being able to go in any room in our house without finding some sort of toy. Having a “messy” home makes me happy {most days} because that means my kids are here and alive to scatter their toys around the house.

9. I’m thankful for life. I thank God for every morning I wake up and have another day to spend with my family.

10. I’m thankful for blogging and the friendships I’ve made. This is my space to dump my thoughts, to make a little extra money, to connect with other women. It’s a fun, amazing thing!

What are you thankful for this year?

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6 of my favorite oils

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // 6 of my favorite oils #youngliving #essentialoils #younglivingessentialoilsIf you follow me on social media, you have seen my talking about my recent love for young living essential oils. I love them so much, that I decided to become a distributor. I love talking about the YL {young living} oils and sharing the different ways they work. I’m one of those people who doesn’t believe in running to the doctors every time myself or my kids are sick, instead I try to treat it at home. These oils help me do that so much. I remember when Kage was sick last week; I’m taking watery eyes, horrible cough, slightly feverish, and I put Thieves on the bottom of his feet, I was blown away when he woke up the next day and all he had was a small cough. I was completely and 100% sold by that alone. I was also sold on YL oils when I was pregnant and had RSL {restless leg syndrome} and I used peace and calming on the bottom of my feet and I had my first night of peaceful sleep in awhile! I could go on and on, but I’ll get to that stuff in this series.

Today I’m going to share six young living essential oils that I love. Then, starting next week, I’ll be sharing each oil I’m using, what I’m using it for, how I use it, and other ways it can be used! I am so excited to share about YL oils! If you want to follow our essential oils journey, you can do so on my newest IG account here.
  Live.Laugh.L0ve. // 6 of my favorite oils #youngliving #essentialoils #younglivingessentialoils

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // 6 of my favorite oils #youngliving #essentialoils #younglivingessentialoils

Joy and Valor are two of my favorite oils. I have major anxiety and I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about it on here before. Well, using Joy and Valor together has really helped calm my anxiety down and lift my mood up! {I’ll be sharing next week where it’s applied and how much to use!}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // 6 of my favorite oils #youngliving #essentialoils #younglivingessentialoils

Peace & Calming is another favorite! I love putting it on mine & the boys feet to help relax us and sleep better at night. I also like diffusing it in my room 20 minutes before bedtime.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // 6 of my favorite oils #youngliving #essentialoils #younglivingessentialoils

Thieves is one of my all time favorites so far. I love diffusing Thieves, it makes my house smell SO good. I also use it on the bottom of my boys feet to prevent sickness.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // 6 of my favorite oils #youngliving #essentialoils #younglivingessentialoils

I love using Lavender on my back to help with my back pain. I use it with a couple of different oils for my back that I will be introducing in my YL oil series.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // 6 of my favorite oils #youngliving #essentialoils #younglivingessentialoils

I’ve been using peppermint for headaches and it works SO well!

Do you use young living essential oils? If so, what is your favorite?!

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Leaving Them

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Leaving ThemThe day after my c-section I was more than ready to go home. I seriously hate staying in the hospital if I don’t have to be there. Every time I’ve stayed in the hospital, pain and/or surgery has been involved, therefore, I try to get out of there as quickly as possible. I talked to the doctor about the possibility of me leaving, she said I looked fantastic, but she normally likes women to stay 48 hours after they had a c-section, but since I was doing so well, she was going to come back around six p.m. to check on me and if I was still doing good, I was going to be able to go home. While I was waiting for it to be six o’clock. I managed to take a shower and put regular clothes on. She came back right on time like she said she would and after checking me, decided I could go home. I was so happy to be getting out of the hospital, but I was overwhelmed with sadness when it came to leaving my babies. The whole time I was being wheeled to the SUV, I was fighting back tears. As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, the tears started falling.

I whispered to my husband, “Does it feel like your heart is breaking?” He shook his head yes. He glanced over at me, saw the tears streaming down my face so, he reached one arm over, put it on my shoulder, and pulled me as close to him as the SUV would allow.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Leaving Them

Everyday since then, when I have gone to visit them, I have literally had to force myself to leave them. I’ve had to force myself to put one foot in front of the other until I’m in my car. It has been three weeks since they were born and leaving them hasn’t gotten easier, the way I’m dealing with it has changed though. The first two weeks I cried in my car every time I left. I was the lady driving down the road, wearing sunglasses, with tears rolling down her cheeks. Starting the third week, I start getting teary eyed when I have to lay them down in their beds now that I get to hold them and when I walk out of the hospital, I’ve noticed that my mood shifts. Something in me shuts down, I become quiet, kinda distant, and my mood is sad instead of happy like it was when I was holding them. I know why this happens, I know it’s because I’m leaving half of my heart behind. I know it’s because to me, I didn’t get to hold them long enough, I didn’t kiss their sweet heads enough. I know it’s because I’m leaving them, when all I wanna do is stay.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Leaving Them

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Leaving Them

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Leaving Them

I’m the type of person who feels things deeply, I can feel every single emotion as it happens, and whose emotions {no matter what emotion it is} consume me. I’m the type of person who feels, lives, and embraces each emotion as it comes. Leaving them is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and the hardest heartbreak I’ve ever felt. I’ve been told by a very sweet friend {whose daughter has been in nicu for over two months now}, that it gets easier, I believe her, but because of who I am, I’m afraid it’s not going to.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Leaving Them

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Leaving Them


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Kage’s Spider-Man Birthday Party

{This post contains affiliate links}Kage originally wanted a batman birthday party, I had all these plans to DIY most of it like I’ve done with past birthdays, but I just didn’t have the time to DIY the party with the twins being in the hospital and me being so busy. So, I ran to walmart because I had to get snacks and stuff for the party and I was going to go ahead and pick up decorations. Well, they had zero batman birthday party decorations. I sighed in frustration and called my mom {who was babysitting} and asked her to ask Kage if he would like a spider-man birthday party instead, thankfully, he was okay with that. So, I gathered all the spider-man decor I could and when I started decorating on Saturday, I was pretty pleased with everything. His actual birthday isn’t until Friday, but we had it this weekend since it’s so close to thanksgiving. Kage loved his party decorations and he had a blast at his party! Ready to see all the pictures? Here they are!

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Kage's Spider-Man Birthday Party

You can find all the party decor you need for an awesome spider-man party at the links below!

Spider-man water bottle labels
Spider-man goody bags
Spider-man party swirl decor
Spider-man table decor
Spider-man napkins

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Flowers are the way to my heart

I was provided these flowers in exchange for an honest review, also the link for The Bouqs is my affiliate link!

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I am a girl who LOVES flowers. I don’t care that flowers eventually die, I love the feeling of receiving them, I love sticking my nose right in them and smelling that delicious flower smell, and I love walking into my kitchen or living room and getting an eyeful of gorgeousness. So, when I was contacted by The Bouqs to do a review for a bouquet of their beautiful flowers, I knew there was no way I was turning that down. I received these while I was on bed rest and I had hoped to share them with y’all sooner, little did I know that two days after getting them, I would wind up in labor, but I’m excited to get to share them with you now!

They arrived perfectly package in a sturdy box and were wrapped in plenty of bubble wrap to keep them safe. When I opened the box, I was so surprised that they were more beautiful in person than they were in the pictures I saw. The pink and yellow were vivid and bright, I feel like my pictures don’t even do them justice. They were stunning and I immediately stuck them in a vase! I couldn’t help but smile every time I walked into the kitchen and saw them!

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The shipping was also fast, which I loved! These would be so perfect for a special anniversary, the holidays, or to send just to say I’m thinking about you. They have such a wide variety and all of them are absolutely beautiful! I will definitely be ordering some in the near future!

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Tell me, what’s your favorite bouquet from The Boqus?

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It all happened so fast

You can read part one here.

 

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When they got me into a labor room, everyone flew into action. It was all happening extremely fast and I was beyond scared. I had an IV put in me that was pumping something into me for the babies. I can’t even remember where the IV went or what the fluid was. They had me signing paperwork and I could have punched her. Like, I wasn’t going anywhere, I’m having extreme contractions, and this couldn’t freaking wait until afterwards?! They were also monitoring the babies again and they were still doing good, even through the contractions. I was so worried too much stress was being put on them from the pain I was going through. The on call doctor came in to talk to me and so did the anesthesiologist. When I found out my doctor wasn’t working that night, I panicked a little because he knew my plan and knew my history, but the on call doctor was really wonderful and put me at ease immediately. There was just something about her that I liked in all of the chaos. While all of this was going on, I was having contractions that had me arching my back, screaming through my teeth, and crying. I’ve had back labor with all three pregnancies and this time around I have a messed up back and I believe that made the contractions ten times worse. I was panicking and trying to find my husband through my blurry, tear filled vision, I remember seeing him put his scrubs on that they gave him and I remember my mom showing up ten minutes before they took me back to the operating room.

By the time we got to the operating room, I was beyond hurting, I really wanted to push, and I was down right miserable. Hubby wasn’t aloud to come back there until I was numb and laid down and all I could keep thinking was I wanted him. I wanted him right next to me, right that second, and he couldn’t be. Thankfully, the anesthesiologist got to work right away on numbing me and right in the middle of him doing so, I had a contraction coming on. Him and one of the OR nurses kept saying I had to be still and I remember muttering, “I can’t. I can’t.” and shaking my head. The last thing I wanted to do was move while he was sticking a needle in my back, but I also knew I couldn’t sit still through it. The OR nurse said, “You HAVE to stay still, just squeeze my hands and scream through it.” That’s exactly what I did. I’m surprised I didn’t break her hand and the scream I let out was a piercing one, but that nurse took it like a champ and it worked, it kept me still enough for him to finish. It only took seconds for the medicine to kick in and before I knew it, the lower half of me was completely numb. They laid me back on the table, put up that big blue curtain, and then Hubby came in and I was so happy to see him.

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I had heard some horror stories about having a c-section and I was really nervous about what it was going to be like, but I didn’t feel anything as the doctor cut me open and pulled my sweet babies out. From this point on, everything was a little hazy, but when she said Baby B was out and that beautiful cry pierced the room, relief flooded through me. “Okay.” I thought to myself, “One baby down, one to go. Please God let Baby A come out crying too.” Two minuter later she said Baby A was out and he too let out a beautiful piercing cry. Tears filled my eyes. They were out, they were crying, and so far they were okay.

Shortly after the babies were out and after she finished tying my tubes, I started to have a panic attack on the table. The lower half of me was numb, my arms were pinned down by straps, my upper back was starting to hurt, and I wanted to see my babies. I wanted off that damn table and I began to panic. I don’t really remember anything after the panic attack started, but Hubby said I kept trying to pull my arms free of the straps and I kept twisting my upper body causing the doctor to have to stop working on me. He had a little chat with the anesthesiologist at this point that he said went a little something like this.

Hubby: “Dude, are you going to give her something to knock her out?”
A: “No, this is normal. She’ll stop.”
Hubby: “No, she won’t. I know my wife and she’s not going to stop. Give her something right now.”

I now thank God that my husband said that because I don’t remember that conversation, them taking the babies away, or the rest of the panic attack. I remember waking up back in the labor room and seeing my husband, my mom, my sister in law & my brother in law all waiting for me to come around. I was so happy to see people who loved me, but it wasn’t long before the pain hit me and the panic of not having my babies with me, hit me. Thankfully my mom got the nurse to give me more pain meds and then Hubby and my mom were able to go see the twins in the nicu. Once my mom came back, my brother in law and sister in law each took a turn going down to nicu with my husband to see the babies. I’m not going to lie, I was upset and jealous that they were getting to see my babies before I was, but I hoped it wouldn’t be long before I would be going back to see them. When Hubby and my brother in law walked back in, the nurse followed. She told me she was moving me to another room, but first I was being wheeled back to see my babies. My mom kissed and hugged me and left to go home where my step-dad and boys were and my BIL & SIL went to the room I was going to be staying in, while Hubby and the nurse wheeled my bed into nicu.

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It was a huge shock to see my babies. They had cpaps on and ivs and wires everywhere. I couldn’t stop the tears if I had tried. My heart broke into a million pieces and all I wanted to do was hold them and cuddle them and I couldn’t. All I could do was hold their little hands and stare at them. It was so hard and it wasn’t long before I had to be wheeled back to my room.

I plan on sharing more about how I felt during this time and the days to follow because that deserves a post of it’s own. For now, I’ll end their birth story here and let y’all know that they are doing good. :) I will have a post up in a day or two about the progress they have made and sharing more pictures. I want to thank everyone who prayed and is continuing to pray for our sweet babies. It means the world to us.

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I was supposed to have 8 weeks left

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Technically it would have been ten weeks, but we were scheduled to have a c-section at eight weeks. I was supposed to feel their little kicks, enjoy their movement, and savor those last eight weeks as my babies grew safe inside of me. When I was put on bed rest, I really relished in their every move because I was able to really focus and enjoy them more since I wasn’t up and going all day. I even felt K.D. hiccup for the first time a few days before I went into labor, it was the sweetest feeling. I was supposed to have eight more weeks to bask in those pregnancy moments, in those little hiccups, in those sweet moments, but that all changed last Saturday morning {November 1st}…

I woke up at 4:30 in the morning with contractions. I didn’t panic at first because I had been having a few contractions everyday since being put on bed rest. I got up, walked to the kitchen, grabbed a glass of cold ice water, took my contraction medicine, and laid back down in bed on my left side. After I was laying there for a few minutes, I noticed the contractions were coming pretty close together at this point so I started timing them. They were two to three minutes apart. A spurt of panic rushed through me, but I forced myself to stay calm and told myself my medicine just needed time to kick in. Well, after an hour of laying there and sipping on my water, they were still two to five minutes apart. I woke up Hubby to let him know I was having contractions. I told him we might need to go to the hospital, but I would let him know for sure. He looked at me with concern and asked if I was okay. I told him I didn’t know, but I would let him know if we needed to go. I grabbed my phone to look up ways to stop early labor and had read that if they weren’t true contractions, that taking a warm shower would get them to stop so into the shower I went. In the shower I still had a few, but afterwards when I curled up on the couch to start timing them again, they seemed to be loosing severity and were anywhere from two to ten minutes apart instead of two to five. I started to get relieved because that meant they were spacing out. I think at this point, I was in huge denial that I was in labor which is why I was doing everything I could to try and stop them. I wasn’t ready to be in labor and I didn’t want to be in labor. Well, around 6:30 I texted my mom and told her what was going on. She didn’t like how long I had been having the contractions for and I could tell she was worried.

Shortly after I texted her, the contractions started coming on full force; they were extremely painful and they were coming every two to three minutes again. I couldn’t take it anymore, I was having to breathe through each contraction and real panic started to hit as the reality sunk in. I couldn’t stop the contractions and I was in labor again. I woke Hubby up again, this time in tears, and told him to get ready and get the boys ready because we had to go and we had to go now. It took him maybe twenty minutes and during that twenty minutes the contractions got worse. I remember being in the kitchen and one of the contractions hit and it literally brought me to my knees, I couldn’t stand up, and I cried out in pain for my husband. After that, each contraction was just as bad. Hubby loaded the boys up in the car and we dropped the boys off at my moms house. I remember thinking that maybe I should wait at my moms house and call 911 because I just didn’t think I was going to make it to the hospital in this kind of pain. I didn’t though and I decided to just get to the hospital as fast as we could. So, once we dropped them off, Hubby hauled ass to the hospital. At this point, the pain was so bad that I was shaking during each contraction from trying not to scream. When a contraction hit, my teeth were clenched, my body shook, and I had a hard time even breathing through the contraction. I remember as we got closer to the hospital that I started to feel pressure and I told Hubby there was pressure as more tears filled my eyes. I wasn’t ready for this. Once we got to the hospital, Hubby ran inside to grab a wheel chair, he wheeled me in, and they got me back into a room very fast. The nurse hooked me up to the monitor to make sure the babies were okay, thankfully they were, and at this point I could no longer stop a small scream from escaping from my clenched teeth with each contraction.

The nurse checked me and said, “Well, you are having these babies today. You’re dilated to a seven.”

Instant tears welled up in my eyes as I looked over at my husband, I saw my worry reflected on his face. “This isn’t supposed to happen, it’s not time yet.” I blubbered. He squeezed my hand and then I was wheeled into a labor room where they began to prep me for an emergency c-section…

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Halloween 2014

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Jay was not wanting to take pictures, he just wanted to go trick or treating, but I was happy that he let me snap a few! :)

I wasn’t allowed to take the boys Trick or Treating this year, it was the first year I missed it, but they still had a blast with Hubby, my mom, and my step-dad. :) They also looked freaking awesome in their Halloween costumes!

How was your Halloween? What was your little one{s} dressed as?!

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They decided to come a little early

Jax Live.Laugh.L0ve. // They decided to come a little early

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // They decided to come a little early

Kade Live.Laugh.L0ve. // They decided to come a little early

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // They decided to come a little early

{These are their nicknames, if you are new to my blog, I don’t use my kids real names on my blog. =D}

If you don’t follow me on facebook, twitter, or IG, than you probably don’t know that the twins were born on Saturday morning. I had an emergency c-section. I”m in the process of writing down the details of what happened, recovering, trying to spend as much time at the hospital as possible, and taking care of Jay and Kage. My mind right now is a little all over the place and the only time I really have to blog right now is at night so I may only be posting a few times a week for a little bit, but I wanted to let y’all know that the twins have arrived and I’ll be sharing updates and the story of what happened soon.

We would appreciate any and all prayers for our sweet little boys!


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