Living in chaos & loving it

I have four kids seven and under, two are eighteen months apart and two of them are twins. I’m going to be honest, I never wanted twins. Every time I got pregnant, I was terrified it was going to be twins. I would worry about how the hell I would handle two babies at once and I knew I just couldn’t do it. That all changed though when I saw my babies on the monitor. I was completely shocked at first, but after a couple of minutes, a calmness came over me and I fell in love with those little ones growing in my belly. I wanted them something fierce and I couldn’t explain it because, like I said, before I found out I was having twins, I didn’t want twins. I wanted them bad though when I saw them. As they grew inside me, I couldn’t picture not having twins. I was scared, but I knew I could handle it and I know that had to be God reassuring me. Now that they are here and home {since they were born early}, it has come more naturally than I thought. I didn’t know how I was going to balance four kids, being a wife, a blogger, a writer, and running a household. Almost six months later, I am loving this life.

It is chaotic and crazy. We’ve had setbacks and bad days, but the amount of good days far outweigh the bad. We live in a three bedroom home so, six people under this roof is a tight squeeze, but we make it work. We make it work by embracing the chaos. Life itself is chaotic, it’s unpredictable, and you never know what to expect. It’s the same with having four little ones. I never know what’s going to happen. We have baby stuff everywhere, legos scatter the floors, laundry sometimes is left sitting until I can get to it, the kitchen isn’t always spotless, and things are often not in their place. At first, it drove me crazy. I liked having everything where it belonged, knowing what the day was going to hold, but I’ve learned to let it go. The laundry will get done, the dishes will get washed, the floors are vacuumed daily. I’ll probably still step on legos and cuss like a sailor when I do. I imagine things will be out of place for awhile, that my house won’t always be as clean as I want it, that everyday is going to hold something different, and that each day is unique and chaotic and beautiful.

I’ve learned to love not knowing what the day will hold. I’ve learned to love baby items and legos taking over my house. I’ve learned to embrace the chaos of our life because it’s beautiful. The smiles, the giggles, the stories, the piggyback rides, the sweet laughs, the memories made, the laughter that fills our house, and the love that is everywhere. I’ve learned that this is just a chapter of life and it won’t always be chaotic and one day everything will be in it’s place. I know when that day comes, I’ll look back and miss the beautiful chaos of little kids, but for now I’ll embrace. I’ll cherish this chapter in our life, and I’ll continue to make memories and teach my children and play with them, and most of all, I’ll always let love flow through this house.

The love and laughter is worth the chaos.

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Comments

  1. says

    I have three children and three step-children. They are now in their tweens and teens. It’s true that time truly goes by so fast.
    As you implied, it’s best to just let the chaos go and truly enjoy the love and laughter. You won’t regret it.

  2. says

    Such sweet pictures!! The chaos can be so beautiful…as long as we aren’t stressing ourselves out. I’m a singleton mom but I have a mom of twins who started Twin Talk Blog. It’s such a great social support group for twin moms! Check it out if it isn’t already on your radar. Instagram: https://instagram.com/twintalkblog

  3. says

    AMEN! I don’t have kids…. but I have my own version of Chaos… and I thrive in it! Every day is its own adventure and I wouldn’t have it any other way :)

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