Happy Friday people! I’m so happy it’s the weekend! Sooo… let’s go ahead and jump right into things I haven’t told you. About four months ago, my husband was part of a big lay off at the company he was working for. It was right before I had the surgery on my neck so, it was a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because, he was able to take care of me while I recovered and take care of the kids and house for a couple of weeks since I couldn’t do much. Thrive definitely helped him then by keeping his energy up so he could do everything he needed to do! Well, he has been having a hard time finding a local, decent paying job. We talked quite a bit about what to do and we decided that for now, I was going to get a job.
The thing is, I’ve been a stay at home mom for awhile. I’ve had about four jobs in my entire life, not including blogging, those four were when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. I was really picky about the kind of job I wanted when the subject came up. At first, I was thinking a waitress in a bar because I had worked in one before and that was daily tips. I applied at a ton of places and got no response. I knew it was going to be hard finding something because my experience is pretty much limited to what I do around the house, with the kids, and blogging. I pretty much had a guarteed job at a place my SIL works, but I didn’t want to go back there. That was a place I worked in my early 20s and I knew I would go insane working there again. My husband couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t take it, but I knew I would find something that I would like and that would bring in decent money.
Thankfully, I decided to message my friend on Facebook who I had seen posting job ads awhile back. So, I asked her if her job was hiring and she said it was. I had an interview with three people and I was so damn nervous and anxious. The day after I had an interview with the boss, I got a call from my friend telling me I was hired! I couldn’t believe it! After the initial happy phase, I began to get sad, nervous and excited. I had been a SAHM for a loooong time and this was a real gig. An office job {which I’m so happy for because I’ve always wanted an office job if I was to ever have to work.} and the hours are the hours I wanted, and same with the pay. So, it’s literally perfect for me, but I was so nervous and sad about not being a SAHM anymore. I was going to miss Jay and Kage like crazy and If I even thought about Jax and Kade, tears would form in my eyes. This went on for about three days. I kept playing in my head everything I was going to miss, going back to work full time…
Random kisses and hugs from the boys all throughout the day, hearing them cracking up in their room over whatever they were playing with together, having Kage randomly come up to me with a new Lego creation and saying “Mommy, I made this for you.” {Which he did tonight after I got off work so I’m glad he’s still doing that}, hearing Jay’s random stories throughout the day or him asking me 50 million questions about God + Jesus that I always tried my best to answer. I was going to miss playing outback with them during the day and miss seeing their sweet, sleepy faces as they woke up. I was going to miss firsts with the babies. I was going to miss Jax’s first tooth popping through, Kade’s first crawl. The first time Jax gets up on his knees and rocks like I saw Kade do. Their precious smiles and those sweet baby laughs. I was going to miss cuddling with them whenever I wanted to and watching/learning everything about their little personalities because I was going to be with them 24/7.
I’ve been working for four days now and I definitely miss all those things that I named. I miss all my boys so incredibly much when I’m at work, that it often feels like I got the wind knocked out of me whenever I think about them too much, but, you know what I love?
I love walking through the front door, my black dress hit the floor … JUST KIDDING.. {name that song without googling it and I will heart you forever!} I love walking through that door and having Jay and Kage come running for me and wrap their little selves around my legs because I don’t even have enough time to squat down for a real hug until after the leg hug because, that’s how fast they run up to me. I love when I go to say hi to the twins, that they smile so hugely at me and start reaching for me. I’ve been a SAHM for so many years now, that it’s nice to be an adult for eight hours, have adult conversations, getting dressed up Monday through Friday, and working at a place I’m quickly growing to enjoy.
It’s still hard though. Part of me yearns for the SAHM life I had because I was one of those moms who truly enjoyed staying home with the kids all day, keeping the house up, etc. Part of me enjoys the quite, but I know if I had to choose one or the other right this second, I already know what I would choose. I am truly enjoying my job though and the huge blessing that it is!!
{That’s all for today, I plan on writing more about what it’s been like to be a working mom, if I tried to cram it all into one post, my feelings wouldn’t come out right because I would be trying to shorten it, and what I want to say shouldn’t have to be cut short.}
Are you a working mom or a sahm? Working moms, do you have any tips for me on how to balance it all? What is your favorite part about being a working mom. Were you ever a sahm? Sahm, have you worked before while being a momma? If so, why did you become a sahm? What do you love most about being a sahm?
{please do not try and start a working mom/sahm war, your comment will no be approved if you do. I have been both a sahm and now a working mother and I respect both equally because they are BOTH hard to do.}
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I can completely understand your mixed feelings. While I’m not a SAHM, I became a homemaker after working full-time right out of high school. It was a BIG change for me, but I’ve come to really enjoy it. It’s allowed me to take on blogging and other endeavors FT. But I always wonder, with this crazy economy, what would happen if I had to go back to work. Like everything, I’m sure you’ll eventually adapt to your new situation. I wish you well! Good luck and congrats on the new job!