Letters | Beauty and The Boys

Dear Jay

August 26, 2014 - 1 Comment

Dear Jay,

How is it that this summer passed so quickly? How is you are growing up so fast? I wish time would slow down, I wish I could stop time and just hold you forever. I love watching you grow though. It really is a bittersweet feeling, wanting you to stay little, but loving watching you become this independent big boy. I can’t believe you are in first grade. We woke up a little late Monday morning, but you were so excited to start getting ready. You ate your breakfast, took your shower, and got ready. We chatted about school and making new friends. When it was time to go, we walked hand in hand to your classroom and I didn’t want to let you go. I wanted to hold your small hand and just stay with you. You smiled at me though, let my hand go, and walked right to your seat. I was fighting back tears, but I knew you were going to be fine.

As a momma, it’s a hard line to walk. Watching you grow, wanting you to learn, letting you become independent, but wanting to hold your small hand forever because I know there will come a time when you don’t want me to hold your hand, a time when I don’t get to walk you in to school. I cherish these moments with you Jay. My heart is filled with so much love and joy for you that it takes my breath away. I am truly so blessed to be your momma. So blessed that God chose me, I couldn’t imagine life without you, I couldn’t imagine not watching you grow up. I might want you to stay little forever, I may want to hold your hand always, but I know I will hold your heart forever.

Your first day went so well. As soon as you spotted me when I picked you up after school, you were beaming! You climbed into the car and started chatting away. I was so happy to hear that you loved your teacher and that you had a wonderful first day of school. The second day went just as well and you even told me about the new friend you made. It warms my heart that you are having great days in school because I miss you like crazy when you are gone and I’m always worried/wondering how your day is going. I just wanted to say how much I love you and how proud of you I am.

Love,
Mommy.

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My little kindergarten graduate

June 8, 2014 - Leave a Comment

Dear Jay,

It’s been a little while since I’ve wrote you a letter. I hope one day you cherish these letters as much as I cherish writing them to you. This is a really special letter though and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it without crying. On Thursday you graduated Kindergarten. Let me say that again, you.graduated.kindergarten. I still can’t get over it. I still can’t believe my sweet boy, the boy who made me a momma, is a kindergarten graduate and will be in first grade next year. Time really does fly baby boy.

I just want to say how proud of you we are. They do graduation a little different at your school then some of the other schools. You preformed with your kindergarten class on stage before the awards. We we were running late so we had to sit in the back and I could see you looking for us because we are normally in the front when you have a performance. I could see the slight disappointment on your face that you couldn’t see us and in between every song, you were searching. We kept trying to get your attention, Daddy even stood up and clapped real loud, but we were too far back. You performed like a champ though and I loved every moment of it. Daddy and I had the biggest smiles plastered on our faces and I recorded every song y’all sang. I can’t wait for the day far in the future, where we sit down and watch old family movies that we’ve recorded through the years. If there is one thing daddy and I try to make a point of, it’s capturing your moments on camera & Kage’s too, that way y’all can look back on them.

After the performance we went back to your classroom where your teacher asked you two questions while giving you your awards: Your Teacher – “What was your favorite part of Kindergarten.” You – “P.E.” I couldn’t help but laugh. That was my favorite as a kid too. Your Teacher - “What do you want to be when you grow up?” You – “A firefighter.” You’ve had that answer for a couple of years now whenever I’ve asked you that question. =D I wonder if that’s going to change through the years or if you’re going to hold on to that dream.

You received three awards and daddy & I are so proud of them. You got a “caught being good award.” You were literally good every single day at school and I couldn’t be more proud of you for that. You got a reading award, which made my heart soar since you know mommy loves to read too. You also got a good sport award, which lets me know you play well with others and that makes us SO happy!

We took you out to eat at a restaurant of your choice for lunch and then we spent a few hours at Mimaw’s house playing in the water and playing outside in general. I would say it was an amazing day and you had a blast.

You continue to amaze me Jay. I can’t wait to see how you grow, learn, and become even smarter through the years. I just wanted to take a minute and recap your little graduation day and let you know how insanely proud we are of the wonderful boy that you are. I love you so much Jay Jay.

Love,
Mommy.

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Happy 6th birthday Jay

April 13, 2014 - 7 Comments

Dear Jay,

You turn six years old today. How do I even begin to describe what you have done to my life these past six years? How do I even begin to describe the absolute joy you bring to my life? You made me a momma. I remember being so scared, I remember thinking that motherhood was going to be impossible. Sometimes it still is, but you make it all the more worth it. I thank God over and over that he blessed me with you. You are such an amazing little boy. You are growing up right before my very eyes and as I write this, I’m fighting back tears. It’s crazy how times flies. I feel like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms for the first time and all of a sudden I blinked and your six.

I want you to know I’m so proud of you, daddy and I both are. You are one of the best students in your class. Your teacher seriously brags about you all the time and it makes my heart swell. You have the sweetest soul I’ve ever seen. You believe in being nice and standing up to those who pick on you and others. You believe in peace above all else. Your love of God amazes me on a daily bases.

Your headstrong too. You and I but heads quite a bit, it’s not surprising and I kinda like it. It shows me that you know what you want and you will stand up for what you think is right or what you believe. You are a little storyteller. I love listening to you tell me whatever story has popped into your head. You have the funniest expressions and your eyes hold all of your emotions. Those beautiful blue/green eyes that holds depths of love. You are a wonderful big brother. You and Kage fight a bit, but at the end of the day, he’s your best friend and you would give anything for him and that is so amazing to see at six years old.

I could say so much more. Like how your laugh fills the room or how when you dance around the living room, energy radiates off of you like the sun. You bring joy wherever you go and it’s beautiful. I want you to always keep the important parts of you. Your selfless at six baffles me and I hope you hold onto it. Your sweetness, your honesty, your faith… hold onto it all. More than anything, hold onto the fact that you are beyond loved because love, it fills a person up and Jay, it flows out of you in waves. We love you so much and we are so proud of the wonderful boy you are.

We had your birthday party over the weekend and you had an absolute blast. We had a Disney planes theme birthday party. You were surrounded by friends and family that love you so much and I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday some more today!

I love you Jay, always and forever.

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Silly & sweet boys, a weird date night, a new book series and more

March 16, 2014 - 1 Comment

Dear boys, first thank you for keeping me entertained at my doctors appointment. I thought taking you to said appointment was going to be a nightmare, but y’all surprised me and did so well and even made me laugh. My doctor was happy to finally meet you Jay since he had already seen Kage a couple of times. Also, thank you for stopping your before bed dance session to let me snap a picture of y’all in your angry bird pajamas. I know it might seem crazy now, but one day when y’all get older, you will understand why mommy wanted all of these pictures.

Dear Hubby, we were kid free on Friday night and while we didn’t get to do much. It was nice that we got to go to IHOP at one am when we were craving it. I really couldn’t believe the drunk dude in the parking lot that asked us for money {who was probably going to go back across the street to the bar to keep drinking} or the fact that he was asking other people for money as well. I also found it slightly comical when he was only addressing the men when he approached a couple and how he shut up real fast when you decided to be an asshole to him and stop him mid-sentence. #youknowhowtokeepitreal I also couldn’t believe the conversation I overheard of the couple sitting behind us when he told his girl that, “She was being annoying.” which apparently was why he was acting mad. Either way, the date with you was wonderful. As my friend Kristine likes to say, #keepithot {Sorry Kristine, I’m totally stealing that!}

Dear Jay, thank you for being so wonderfully you. You surprised me by almost falling asleep on the living room floor after you threw a fit because of what, I don’t even remember. It still made me laugh to think you were going to fall asleep right there. Thank you for being so incredibly sweet. You hadn’t seen your cousin {and best friend} in almost a week and a half and you missed him so much. Well, Friday you were staying the night over at Mimaw’s house with Kage and your cousin so, you woke up bright and early at five thirty {I wasn’t too thrilled about that} and when I finally let you get up for the morning a couple of hours later, you immediately went to your coloring book to color a picture for him. As soon as you saw your cousin you said, “Hey, I have something for you.” You presented him with the picture you colored and his face lit up and he gave you a big hug. #insertmeltedheart Thank you for also keeping me entertained during our first “scary” storm of the season by telling me the story of what was going on with the little action figures you were playing with.

Dear Kage, Thank you for also being so wonderfully you. I gave you and Jay some party hats to play with. They were in a bag from your birthday party back in November and y’all wouldn’t stop asking to play with them so, I finally gave in. You decided to make fun shapes with them and it totally made me smile. Thank you for asking me to take the most random pictures {you ask me quite often}, they are always ridiculous and normally make me laugh. Also Kage, I just want to say how amazed I am that you have inherited the drawing/artist talent from my side of the family. You are only four years old and you are a self taught drawer. You draw pictures from memory of stuff you’ve seen or watched and I love watching you put pencil, crayon or marker to paper because I know I’m always going to be blown away.

Dear self, your everyday mom outfit is ridiculous. Except, in the picture below your wearing slightly big pants and you normally have on leggings, either way, you should probably get a new everyday mom outfit. #justsayin You should also probably hang that damn mirror, that way it will get off of your floor and you can stop telling the boys fifty times a day to get away from it that way they don’t break it.

Dear reading at five thirty in the morning, when Jay woke up on Friday bright and early, I made him lay down and watch two movies because there was no way I was getting up that early during spring break. He surprisingly didn’t argue and I tried to go back to sleep with no success. So, I picked up where I left off on the Matched series I am reading. I must say, I do like the book, I’m not sure if I love it, it’s kind of slow which frustrates me to no end, but I do like the main characters and I do like the story that is being told. I always relish in any quiet time I have to read since reading is so close to my heart.

Dear Sunday afternoon jam session, you made me smile so big. Seeing the boys love for music that Hubby and I share warms my heart. Also, I loved that Hubby was willing to let the boys listen to music using the new head phones that literally had just been delivered. {my boys like to break things} I loved that he let them cuddle up next to him and let the music flow through them all. It’s moments like that, that just simply blow me the hell away. #weareblessedwithadamngoodman

Dear random things, the double rainbow we saw on Saturday night was AMAZING. The picture just doesn’t even come close to doing it justice. The boldness of the colors stunned me. Normally the rainbows I see are far away, but this one was so close. I felt like I could reach out and touch it if I got just a little closer to it. I was almost tempted to follow it to see where it ended because that’s how close it looked. One of the rainbows was a full arch and so perfect. I wanted to see where it hit the ground and if the colors radiated everywhere on the ground or if it stopped somewhere in the sky. We all appreciated that rainbow for sure. #godspromise I won a giveaway from The Modern Tulip and that bracelet came in such cute packaging and the bracelet itself, WOW. You’ll have to wait for another post to see that. To the Wonka Randoms Candy – thank you for being so delicious.

Dear readers, thank you for continuing to read my little blog, for following along on my journey and blessing my heart in ways you couldn’t even imagine. Thank you for following along on my journey through life. Muah!!

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To my momma

December 19, 2013 - 3 Comments

The card featured in this post was sent to me for a review. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.

Dear Mom,

I should have wrote you this letter at the beginning of the month, you can go ahead and say I’m a bad daughter for not doing so. I couldn’t let another day go by though without writing down my thoughts and feelings to you, on this little space of mine. Writing is what I do best and so today, I’m writing you.

Photography site here.

How do I some up in one post what twenty five years has meant to me? How do I some up in one post the amount of love I have for you? I don’t think I can, but I’m going to try. You have always been my rock. I know growing up I wasn’t always the easiest child. I cried alot, I ran my mouth and I lied a little. Although you were my best friend then like you are now, you didn’t let me get away with things and I can’t thank you enough for that. I can’t thank you enough for loving me enough to discipline me for what I was doing wrong. I can’t thank you enough for loving me no matter what. I can’t thank you enough for always standing by my side. I can’t thank you enough for helping me become the woman I am today. Our shopping trips. Our casino nights. Having you there when I gave birth to my boys. Having you there when I said I do to the man I love. Having you there anytime I need you. Those are things I will never forget. In the twenty five years of my life, we have made so many memories and I hope to make so many more.

I know I normally make you a card for your birthday, but I didn’t this year. Although I did kind of make this card, by picking out pictures I knew you would love & I loved doing that for you. I loved picking our specific pictures and personalizing it, it was so much fun to do! I hope the message I had typed inside warmed your heart.

I’m not going to lie, I love seeing it sitting on your mantel when I come over, just like I love the handmade one you have hanging on your fridge.

Momma.. I hope we have many more years of memories together. I got incredibly lucky when God decided you would be my mother. You are an amazingly strong woman, your heart is one of gold and you are an excellent grandma to my boys. I just can’t picture life without you. I am so glad we have the bond that we do. I love you mom, always and forever.

Love,
Your babygirl

I had to write this letter

December 5, 2013 - 2 Comments

Dear Paul Walker,

You don’t know me from eve. I never had the honor of meeting you. I was one of your biggest fans though, you were hands down my favorite actor. I didn’t know you personally, but I felt like I “knew” you. You have been on my TV for at least 10 years, I have followed along on your social media, I have laughed, smiled or gushed at the things you would post. I may not have actually known you as a friend, but your death shook me. I have never cried over the loss of a celebrity before, but I can’t tell you the amount of tears I have shed over the loss of you.

I don’t understand how I can be this upset over someone I didn’t personally know, how I could feel this kind of pain over someone I didn’t personally know, but I am and I do and I’m not alone in that. Facebook is crawling with fans mourning the loss of you. You are only to look up #rippaulwalker on twitter and you can feel the pain and read the hurt. Your death shook the world Paul. I still can’t warp my head around the fact that you’re gone, I desperately want this to not be real. You died too young, too soon.

I hope you know how unbelievably loved you are. I hope you know if prayers and tears could bring you back, you would have barely been gone. I hope you know my love of fast cars is because of you. I will always think of you and your role in the fast and furious movies when I climb behind the wheel of our Honda civic. I hope you know your memory will live on forever, not only by those who knew you, but through your fans too. You were more than an amazing actor, you were an amazing person too. You were put on earth to show the rest of us how a person should be.

I couldn’t not write you this letter. You’ll never get it, but I hope you see it from heaven. I will always remember you as the cute popular high school guy in she’s all that. As the gorgeous man who wanted his treasure, but not at the risk of loosing his girl in Into the blue. As the hard and fast bad guy who wound up trying to fix his mistake in running scared and most of all, I will remember you as the sexy cop turned bad, who wanted respect, who fell in love, who put a friend above his career and who found a family in the Fast and furious movies. I will also remember you through your charity, through all the money you have donated to help those in need, for the big heart you had.

I wish I could reach out to your daughter, your family, to Tyrese, Vin and the rest of the fast family, I wish I could hug them all and take their pain away, but if there is one thing I’ve learned about death – is the pain never really goes away, you just learn to live with it and most of all they will live for you because you showed them how to really live.

Rest in peace Paul Walker
You will be forever missed.

I take no credit for the pictures in this post, they were all pulled from facebook.

Happy Birthday Kage

November 29, 2013 - 1 Comment

Dear Kage,

Your 4th birthday was yesterday. There are so many things I want to say to you. So many things I want you to know, but where do I begin when my mind is all over the place. I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you know just how much you have changed me. I see so much of myself in you and that is both a bit scary and so wonderful. You definitely don’t take life too seriously. You are constantly laughing or making others laugh. We spend our days together while Jay is at school and you always put a smile on my face throughout the day. You have this glow about you, this natural sunshine that just shoots out of you in all directions and people are only to be near you and it affects them too. You make people smile and laugh and Kage, I hope you know that is a beautiful gift.

You love me. I know that daddy loves me and Jay loves me, but you love me in such a different way. I see it in your eyes when you look at me. In the natural way you gravitate towards me. In the way you always want to be with me, talking to me, laughing with me and showing me your little works of art. It’s a beautiful thing to see that love for me so openly. It’s something your little four year old self doesn’t dare hide. It’s not just me either, when you love someone, like daddy and Jay. You can see it, you can feel it. I hope you never lose the way you love people.

You are my little artist. You are going to flip out over your birthday presents this year for that reason. Your party is on Saturday and I can’t wait to see the look on your face. You love to color, paint or draw more than anything else. More than watching tv or playing games on your toy phone. Y’all have had a wii for sometime now and you barely ever play it. I have watched you color all day, literally. I don’t know if you will grow up to be an artist or a comic book drawer or anything like that, but for now, this little passion that you have will be encouraged, always.

You are smart and you catch on to things so fast. You are also stubborn and determined. That’s a good and bad combination. I would know because I am the same way. You have a feisty little temper and you love to play fight. Daddy and I have talked about putting you in karate. You love to snuggle, it’s one of your favorite things. You love Thomas the train, Angry birds, Jake and the never land pirates and any form of sweets. Your favorite color is always changing and although you aren’t fully potty trained yet, you are making excellent progress.

I hope you know how much you are loved. I hope you know we will always encourage you to follow your dreams and we will always be here for you. I hope you know that you are one amazing little boy and I am beyond blessed to be able to call you mine.

Love,
Mommy

A letter to my future self and a giveaway

November 21, 2013 - 19 Comments

Today is my birthday! Not only do I think it would be fun to share a letter I wrote to my future self, but to have a little giveaway too!

Dear future me,

I hope you are living those dreams you had at the age of twenty four & still had going into twenty five. I hope your books are sold in stores and bought from Amazon and are downloaded onto kindles. I hope your love of photography and wanting to have a photography biz made it. I hope you take the most beautiful pictures. Trust me, I remember how excited you were to get your first camera. It was the kind of excitement found in birthday and Christmas, it was like someone sprinkled magical dust on you because, you lit up like the fourth of July. I hope you never gave up and I hope you are at the place you want to be in life.

I hope you stopped and smelled the roses. I hope that you learned how to push your fears aside and really live. I hope you cuddled with the boys as often as you could until they grew out of the cuddling stage. I can only imagine the amount of tears you cried when that happened, just thinking about that day now has tears stinging my eyes. I hope you continued to raise them with respect, love, patience and understanding. I hope they grew up to be confident in who they are because, you were always confident in who you are. I hope they grew up to work hard like their daddy wants and I hope they know how to really love because, you love them so.

I hope you created more memories than you can remember. I hope you laughed throughout the years. The kind of laughter that fills a room. The kind of laughter that doubles you over. I hope you have shed some tears. Growing up you were always a sensitive person and you cried weather it was happy or sad tears. I hope you held onto that sensitivity and didn’t let others ruin it. I hope you held onto your passion and you compassion too. I hope you still try to see the best in people and I hope you still love with your whole heart.

I hope you and Hubby have traveled. I hope y’all took the kids on endless vacations and created endless memories, but I hope y’all also took vacations for just the two of you because, those memories are important too. I hope y’all still love each other with the fierce passion you do right now. I hope y’all are still as happy, if not happier, than you are now.

More than anything, I hope you are proud of yourself, the life you have lived so far, the boys you raised and the man you married. I hope you can look back over the years and remember that you truly lived life and that you worked hard to get where you are today. I hope you never lost your sense of wonder.

Love,
twenty four year old me.

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This one is for the moms

March 28, 2013 - 6 Comments

Dear soon to be momma,

I know you’re anxious, excited and scared to be a mother; to meet your baby for the first time. To take on the roll of mother, caregiver, diaper changer, maid and all the hats that come with motherhood. You have every right to be anxious, excited and scared because becoming a mother for the first time is very exciting and yes a little scary. You are fixing to not only have your life to take care of but, a tiny little human who is going to need you. Just know, no matter what – you can do this. Your worries are normal and you are in for a lifetime of worrying because that’s what we do when we love someone. But you are also in for a lifetime of love you never knew existed. A lifetime of new memories and new milestones. A lifetime of your heart being so happy.

Dear new momma,

I know you are sleep deprived. I know that you haven’t showered in a few days and you have barely managed to scarf down the cheeseburger you had your husband pick up. I know you have probably shed a few happy and sad tears. I know you are filled with love and you are overwhelmed. Just know that you won’t always be running on two hours of sleep and you will eventually get to sit down to eat. Your baby will grow up all too fast.

Dear mom who thinks she is screwing it all up,

Take a deep breath because you are probably not. I know your house probably isn’t spotless, your kids are in desperate need of a bath and hamburger helper is what’s for dinner. I know the laundry should have been folded last week, the dishes need to be washed and those crumbs in the carpet really need to be vacuumed up. But take a look at those kids of yours – see how happy they are. Listen to them laugh. Look at the paintings and drawings on your fridge. The tower of blocks or barbies lined up. Look at the memories you are making. You are doing something right and you aren’t alone.

Dear momma who forgets she is also a woman,

Don’t forget to take the time for yourself. Soak in the bath a little longer. Go grocery shopping by yourself. Curl up with a good book after the kids have gone to bed. Soak up the way the sunrises or the way it sets. Replay the day in your head and let your tank become full. Remember you have value and self worth. You are raising children, you are making their lives better, you are watching miracles grow up.

Dear all of you mommas,

you are not alone in motherhood. You are not alone in your daily struggles of mommyhood and your daily amounts of joy. You are more than you think you are and the love your children have for you is out of this world. You know what it’s like to be happy and yet cry. You know what it’s like to have your heart so full and yet feel like your not doing enough at the same time. You know a love that some people only wish for. Always remember what you are doing is enough and you are a better momma then you may give yourself credit for & always remember you are never alone.

Dear mommas,

Embrace this beautiful crazy journey of parenthood – because there is nothing like it in the world.

This post was inspired by this post from my friend Megan at Absolute Mommy. I am linking up with Casey for On my heart + Amanda for Desire to Inspire

I love a good challenge + Friday Letters

March 14, 2013 - 1 Comment

If you follow me on Instagram, then you already know about this super fun photography challenge I am participating in this month called I Heart Faces. It challenges me to get creative and makes sure I take at least one photo a day. We are 15 days in so I thought I would share my first 15 pictures so far.

Day 1 – Introduce yourself // Day 2 – Favorite: This is one of my favorite pictures I have ever taken // Day 3 – Happy: Gayle

Day 4 – Out of focus: Gayle’s ring in focus while she is out of focus // Day 5 – #widn: Playing Yahtzee with the baby daddy aka hubs // Day 6 – Straight

Day 7 – They hold two of the #keys to my heart // Day 8 – Leap: I took the leap and made over my photography site // Day 9 – Sweet tooth

Day 10 – Time: Time with my man // Day 11 – Apple // Day 12 – Sweet dreams

Day 13 – Art: Nature’s art is one of my favorite arts of all // Day 14 – Eye level // Day 15 – What’s in my bag

I would love to see your photos if you are doing this photo challenge as well! And because it’s Friday I gotta do my Friday letters, seriously can’t go another week without it.

Dear Hubby, I think I’m going to change your name to baby daddy on here, I like it better sense everyone uses Hubby or Hubs. Anyways, dear baby daddy – I’m so glad you are healing up nicely and you are starting to feel better.

Dear boys, Y’all rock my socks off. You are both growing so fast and becoming smarter by the day. I now see what this song Don’t Blink is talking about.

Dear Jay, I can’t believe I am registering you for Kindergarten next month, I also can’t believe you are going to be five next month. Please someone tell me how to slow down time because I don’t know if I can handle how fast it’s going.

Dear Delicious enchiladas I found on pinterest, You were the freaking bomb.

Dear baby daddy, yes you get two mentions – you have been home for two weeks and it’s nice to know we still know how to laugh and have fun and be the us we were before life happened. I love you forever and for always.

Dear Google reader, Goodbye – I heart bloglovin anyway.

Dear readers, I love you all. *muah*

Happy Friday!