Sometimes you just have to cry

I swear one day I’m going to get back to my regular happy posts. I feel like I have been writing a lot of sad ones lately. Maybe it’s because I’m sad or maybe that’s what I’m feeling at the end of the day when I sit down to write. Either way, this is my blog, my real life and I write how I feel. I write because I want to remember and my life is not always rainbows and butterflies. This 31 day challenge has helped me realize that so far and has helped me realize that I don’t have to share the happy all the time. While I enjoy writing about all the good, happy and wonderful moments in my life. I also feel sadness, angry and bitchiness and I think those deserve a spot here too because, it’s apart of me, it’s apart of being human.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Sometimes you just have to cry

Monday went from a good day to a bad one. I truly woke up believing that it was going to be a much better day. I was so beyond wrong it wasn’t even funny. Today was hell. Today was rough. Today was one of those days that I asked God a lot of questions. It’s one of those days where around every corner there is another thing trying to knock me down. Today was one of those days where I tried my best to get out of the house, help at the school, visit with my mom, even if it was only for an hour. I tried to make it better and it just wasn’t. I had to cancel my doctor appointment today because, I just can’t afford the injection right now for my back. So, I cried. That means I’m in pain longer. That means I’m not giving my 100% to everything I do because, I just can’t. So, I cried some more.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Sometimes you just have to cry

Kage acted like a complete brat again after we left the school this afternoon when I was up there helping with some things. Again, he caused my back to hurt worse from his trying to pull away from me and me having to pick him up. So, I cried again. The boys woke up at five o’ clock this morning, by the time we got Jay from school. They were whiny and crying and just plain blah. I let them take an hour nap. When I woke them up more crying, actually lots more crying. There were other things throughout the day that just kept adding to everything that had already happened, so what did I do, I cried some more.

The thing is. No matter what we do. No matter how hard we try and make it better. No matter how hard we try to keep our shit together. We are going to have days where nothing is going our way and we are going to feel defeated, we are going to fall. We are going to need to cry. Therefore, I cried. I purged it. I got it out of my system because I needed to. I needed to let those tears roll silently down my cheeks. I needed to silently scream. I needed to just get that bad day out of my system.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Sometimes you just have to cry

Once I did, the day didn’t miraculously get better, but I felt better. While I was still a little down, I was a lot more up than I was and instead of brooding some more, I wrote. I wasn’t going to stay down and I sure in the hell wasn’t going to stay defeated.

{I know this song talks about her moving on from a guy, but I love it because the lyrics are so true about what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, etc.}
about


Monday, you did a good job fooling me

I went into Monday assuming it was going to be a bad day. I had zero sleep the night before. I managed to squeeze in three hours after I took Jay to school & me, running on three hours of sleep, is normally cause for disaster. However, Monday was proving me wrong. I may have been tired all day, but I got laundry done, dishes done, I vacuumed, Kage was bathed, dressed and teeth-brushed, we even managed to run an errand before it was time to pick up big brother from school. It was shaping up to be a good Monday after all. We acted silly in the car and I even recorded Kage singing some country songs. Cutest thing ever, by the way.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Monday, you did a good job fooling me

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Monday, you did a good job fooling me

Jay was happy when he got home from school and while there was a little bit of fighting over what pretend game they were supposed to be playing, they were getting along and being silly.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Monday, you did a good job fooling me

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Monday, you did a good job fooling me

I had a PTA meeting to go to which meant the boys were coming with me, which meant dinner was going to be late, homework, reading & bedtime were all going to be done a little later tonight. It’s okay we would deal. The sad part is, I almost talked myself out of going a hundred times before we even left. I knew the boys were going to be hungry, I knew I was going to be hurting from sitting for so long, etc., but we went. They did good. They played with the other kids. I finally met everyone. I chatted with a few of the other ladies.

Then it was time to leave. What happened below was in a 15 minute time span. 15 minutes people.

– Kage threw himself on the floor.
– He ran down the hall and refused to stop when I told him to stop.
– He ran into the office and closed the door.
– He tried to pull away from me when I was trying to get him out of said office.
– He got pissed because I told him to sit on the bench.
– He tried to get down so, I picked him up and he began thrashing around in my arms.
– My back was now really hurting because of all of this.
– He kicked almost the whole way to the truck.
– When I put him in the truck he decided to hit me on the arm.
– Then he got mad when I told him he was in trouble when we got home.

All the while, Jay was quietly behaving, looking at Kage that says, what the hell is wrong with you? By this point I was defeated and I still had dinner, homework, reading & bedtime to get through. Yeah, Monday. You did a good job fooling me. Today is a new day though, let’s hope it goes better than yesterday.

about


Throw a little unexpected fun into life

Life can be hard, we already established that from yesterday’s post. Sometimes I write about how hard it can be and then there are times I break out of our routine and do something for fun. Yesterday was just one of THOSE days, I chalk it up to the fact that it’s the day before Friday so, the day is dragging on because I am more than ready for the weekend. Thursdays mock you, I swear. They know you want it to be Friday and Thursday is going to take it’s sweet precious time before you get Friday. Know what I’m sayin? Anyways, back to my point. Yesterday being one of those days led to having ice cream for dinner.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Throw a little unexpected fun into life

I may not like to cook that much and I may feed my kids powdered donuts for dinner every once in awhile, but I normally don’t do sweets so close to bed time. However, I needed to break out my funk. I need to shake things up and I needed to surprise my kids. Life needs to be shaken up every now and then. You need to throw a little unexpected fun into life. Try it and see what it does for you.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Throw a little unexpected fun into life

The kids were of course thrilled. “Red ice cream!” They exclaimed. Ha, sure red ice cream. It was actually a big red float, but whatever. It worked. My kids were happy. I was happy. We sat at the table, shoveling big red floats into our mouths and laughing. We ended the night with homework and when it was time to read them their bedtime story, I was actually upbeat about it. As I write this post, I just feel happy and I think that’s because I put that unexpected fun into our life tonight, it was something we all needed.

Do you shake things up when life is hard?

about


Writing has always been an outlet for me

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Writing has always been an outlet for me

Writing has always been an outlet for me. Weather it was in a journal or on xanga {Wow, do you remember xanga?} and now on a blog. Writing has always been a way for me to share what I’m feeling or what I’m experiencing in life or just memories that I want to make sure I never forget. Writing has been there for me when life gets hard. It gives me a place to write out everything I am feeling because sometimes I have so many thoughts running through my head that they don’t all make sense unless they are on paper {or a computer}. Even still, writing a blog, I don’t put all my feelings on here. There are feelings that are solely for me, that I don’t want shared.

Then there are times that I wonder if I should put them on here for you to read because, what if you connect with them? What if you understand them? What if you can relate to what I’m going through? It’s really a tug-o-war I have, do you have that problem too? Between wanting to share your feelings and not wanting to share them? Maybe it’s just me, but that’s how it is. For instance, if you have been reading my blog for a little while now you know that I have back problems. You can read about my feelings about that here, here and here. I got one round of injections in my back and they worked for a glorious three weeks. For three weeks I remembered what it was like to be pain free. To be able to play more with my kids without it hurting, to live life again without it hurting.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Writing has always been an outlet for me

I remember when it started coming back. When I slowly felt the pain returning. It didn’t hit me all at once. No, it was slow, it crept, like it was warning me to slow down, to savor these last few days because, I was fixing to be right back at square one. I tried to prepare myself, but you can’t really prepare yourself for that kind of pain. For that kind of disappointment that comes with knowing that the injections didn’t last as long as the doctor wanted them too. For the sadness of going back to having to limit yourself and what you do because, it hurts. It doesn’t matter that I’m on pain medicine, well, it does because it takes away a good amount of the pain, but I still hurt. Everyday.

It’s not just my back though. There is other things going on in life that are just all deciding to clash at the same time and I feel the weight of it. I’m sure everyone has moments like that in their life, where everything seems to be going on at once and you don’t know weather to scream or to cry. It’s a hard time, but it helps to write. That’s the best advice I can give when it feels like everything is against you, write it out. It doesn’t have to be public. Write it in a journal, a notebook or in a word document. Write down your feelings and read them over. That way you can get it all out. That way even if you still have bad days, you know you have a way to channel those bad days. You have a way to let it all out.

Do you journal? Do you find that you write more when life is a little bit harder than normal?

about

Linking up with Amanda for Desire to Inspire.


Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Life lately has had it’s good and bad moments. The week normally seems to fly on by until Thursday and then time moves so.freaking.slow. I know why, it’s because I want it to be Friday. By Friday, I am more than ready for the weekend, especially since we have been making it our mission to have some kind of fun every weekend. I really love that we are sticking with that goal. Jay is doing amazing in school, I still can’t get over the fact that he can read now. It’s definitely a bittersweet moment. Kage has finally taken to playing video games, I have never made him, but Jay is always asking Kage to play with him and Kage would always tell him, “I’m too little.” Well, Sunday, Kage started playing and Jay is ridiculously happy about that.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

I went to my new doctor on Thursday. He is really great and I think he is going to be doing everything in my power to fix my back because, the pain has come back full force. I go in, in a couple of weeks for a stronger round of injections in my back. Say a prayer it works. I have been in a major decorating mood lately, probably because I can’t do much else without it hurting. On the plus side, it’s doing wonders for my house. ;)

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

On Saturday we had a pretty lazy day. We took naps and pretty much just relaxed all weekend. On Sunday, I spent some time reading my bible and I came across a verse that I shared on Instagram, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” — Proverbs 3:3 I would love for you to share with me your favorite verse in the comments below. We also took the boys to the park and let them ride their bikes and spent the rest of the evening playing and catching up on cleaning the house.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Life Lately

How has your life been lately? How was your weekend?


The worst thing about being a woman

Hey Y’all. I would say happy Friday, but it’s that time of the month and there ain’t nothing happy about that. On that subject, why do us women have to subjected to this kind of ridiculousness once a month for three or more days? Bleeding from the you know what, that’s just gross, period {pun intended}. Turning into a raging bitch, I mean really, who wants to put up with that? I really don’t even like myself half the time during this time of the month. My husband just knows when my friend has come to visit, I’m pretty sure I walk around with bitch written all over my face. Bloating and cramps? Seriously, NOTHING good comes of this little “visit.”

Then, oh heaven forbid we stop having it when we get older, we will go through that lovely thing older woman talk about called menopause. Excessive sweating. That alone makes me want to cry. I don’t mind to sweat if it’s from doing hard work, sweating because my “little friend” doesn’t make her monthly visit anymore is really going to get under my skin. Gah, isn’t being a woman great? Since I am on to something here and this is turning out nothing like the post I planned out, let’s just keep going with it and see where it goes. Should I mention when my friend visits, my brain turns to nothing. Yeah, there is that fun perk too. Women also have to deal with shaving, good grief – WHY do we have hair on are arms, legs, underarms, and um – yeah, that place our little friend visit?!!

I need laser hair removal like yesterday because I hate shaving. My husband’s lucky that I care he likes smooth legs, otherwise I would probably never shave during fall and winter! Another thing women deal with is, boobs – yep. They are perfection when they are first coming up. Pop out a couple kids and well, gravity works. I should also add boob lift to my things I need to get done. Also, try having an angry baby suck on your ta-tas, that shiz hurts, I don’t care what anyone says. Another thing, WHY is it SO much easier for guys to loose weight than girls?! When Hubby and I started working out together he was dropping weight like crazy, I on the other hand, barely noticed a difference, which is probably why we aren’t working out anymore.

Also, why do guys roll out of bed looking like some male god and females have to put up with looking like the wicked witch of the east until we “put our face on” and fix our hair. Unless you are naturally blessed with pretty hair and perfect skin, in which case I hate you. ;) I would also like to know how it is women can give birth to a baby and manage to live through it, but a guy gets sick and he acts like he’s on his death bed? Why don’t we get to act that way? I’m pretty sure when I’m sick, I don’t fall into bed and sleep until I’m better. Oh, no. Hubby normally has to work and I’m trying to fend off my kids as I try and catch a nap on the couch while keeping one eye open.

I would also like to know who came up with the idea on top of everything else, that women should put paint on their nails. Ladies, I fail at this. Oh, I try constantly, but I still suck at it. Then I see all of these other women who have pretty nail polish and I look at my craptastic nails and realize they need to be painted to look a little less craptastic, another thing a man doesn’t have to do. A man also doesn’t have to carry a baby for nine months and deal with finding out areas jiggle that you don’t want jiggling, your boobs swelling to the size of watermelons and puking most of the day the first three months. Yeah, let’s see them try and do any/all of that. #theywouldfail #ireallydidnotmindbeingpregnant ;)

It’s fun being a woman isn’t it? So, I don’t sound crazy for it being that time of the month, what is one thing that drives you crazy when it comes to being a woman?


Currently, loving & wishing for

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Currently, loving & wishing for

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Currently, loving & wishing for

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Currently, loving & wishing for

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Currently, loving & wishing for

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Currently, loving & wishing for

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Currently, loving & wishing for

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Currently, loving & wishing for

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Currently, loving & wishing for

Currently:
Loving: My awesome husband and our two sweet boys. Those three have my entire heart and always keep me on my toes.
Watching: Keeping up with the Kardashians.
Listening to: My fingers typing.
Reading: The hunger games, because I can never get enough of it.
Eating: Just finished another bowl of my Tyson popcorn chicken salad.
Wanting: Fall weather to stick around.
Loving:
How great my husband is with our kids.
Jay’s first baseball game.
Time with Kage during the day.
Our fun times while waiting to pick up Jay from school.
A fresh mantel to start my fall + Halloween decorations.
Naps on the weekends.
Breakfast with Jay in the mornings.
Craft time with my boys.
Wishing for:
A vacation.
A Massage.
To get my nails and toes done.
What you loving and wishing for lately?


Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Last week & the week before we had a few rainy days. Really, I should say stormy – because, all of the days it did rain, it stormed and playing in the rain was out of the question. But, on Wednesday my little sister & my nephew came over and as we were chatting in the kitchen while our boys played in the playroom, I heard the sound of beautiful summer rain falling outside.
The kind of beautiful summer rain that isn’t occupied by thunder or lighting and I immediately looked at my sister and told her we had to let the boys play out in the rain. After we hollered for them to come on we were going outside to play in the rain, they all came sprinting into the living room and we couldn’t get the back door open fast enough. It was magical.
There is always something magical about watching your little ones laugh and play as rain falls from the heavens. There really is no other way to describe it. We laughed as they stuck their tongues out to catch the rain drops and giggled as they sprinted around the yard. Lately, I have been trying to really stop and enjoy life. Enjoy these moments of pure joy and last week – I can honestly say I completely did just that.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // Rainy day fun

When was the last time you or your kids played out in the rain?

This months in-post ad
——————————


This is my real life

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // This is my real life

My best friend and I got to talking the other day about “real” bloggers and how they are SO hard to come across. That a lot of bloggers {& no I’m not naming names or pointing fingers} are not fully real. They share a ton of “my life is soooo perfect, I am soooo funny, look at me and yada yada” Now, I get that it’s hard to talk about the good and bad on a blog. To talk about things with people you don’t know that are going on in life. It sure in the hell wasn’t easy for me to open up about how I feel about my back. That’s the thing – life isn’t easy. Life isn’t always perfect. People aren’t always funny or sad and kids damn sure aren’t always well behaved and perfect. I share the good and the bad on this space because this is my real life. This is how I am. This is how my family is. This is how my life is.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // This is my real life

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // This is my real life

It took me almost two years, but I feel like that is one major reason my blog has never really taken off because I don’t fit into a tidy little category. I’m not always funny. I’m not always serious. I don’t always dress cute and when I do I don’t always take pictures. I don’t pretend I’m anywhere close to perfect. My kids are not always good. Life is not always good. I like to share all of that and more. I like to share DIYs even if there is a messy background. I love to share pictures of my kids even if they are not perfect.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // This is my real life

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // This is my real life

I love to do crafts and teach my children and yes, those pictures aren’t perfect either because, again. I am NOT perfect {do you see a running pattern here}. I am one of those people who is okay with who she is and how life is. I know I can be funny, serious, fashionable, sweet, heartfelt, mean, crafty and bitchy. That’s what I want you to take away from this space. I want you to know ME not only parts of me and most definitely not only the good parts.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // This is my real life

I know I’m not alone this because aside from my best friend another one of my great bloggy friends is so true to who she is that I think every single damn blogger who writes about life needs to take a few pages out of her book. So, if you are coming here for perfect. Perfect anything – you really have come to the wrong spot. If you have come here to get to know me and follow my perfectly imperfect journey through life, if you have come here to get to know a blogger who doesn’t “fit in” to a nice little category – then please pull up a chair and stay awhile.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // This is my real life

In the meantime. This is me. This is us. My youngest is normally only wearing a shirt or underwear/pull ups when we are at home. My boys bedroom is often a disaster. I eat fast food more than I like to admit and I wear shorts and a t-shirt more often than not. My hair is normally found in a ponytail and I rarely have my nails or toes painted. There is so much more but, you can learn about that by reading the archives or continuing to read my blog.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // This is my real life

I just hope you understand that one thing you will find here, is that I am a real person who writes about her very real life in the hopes to connect with you very real readers.

This months in-post ad
——————————


A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

I went back and forth between doing an “a day in my life” post or a “photo a day” post but, I decided. I post so much about our lives. I tell stories, share pictures and write things that are on my heart. So, I went with a little something in between. I went with showing you a little glimpse into my day. Some of these are pictures I would normally share and others I’m not sure if I have. I’m also inviting you to linkup! I always think it’s fun to do post like this every once in awhile and look at how much life changes.

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}

Live.Laugh.L0ve. // A glimpse into my day {a linkup}


This months in-post ad
——————————