Pregnancy | Beauty and The Boys

It all happened so fast

November 11, 2014 - 1 Comment

You can read part one here.

When they got me into a labor room, everyone flew into action. It was all happening extremely fast and I was beyond scared. I had an IV put in me that was pumping something into me for the babies. I can’t even remember where the IV went or what the fluid was. They had me signing paperwork and I could have punched her. Like, I wasn’t going anywhere, I’m having extreme contractions, and this couldn’t freaking wait until afterwards?! They were also monitoring the babies again and they were still doing good, even through the contractions. I was so worried too much stress was being put on them from the pain I was going through. The on call doctor came in to talk to me and so did the anesthesiologist. When I found out my doctor wasn’t working that night, I panicked a little because he knew my plan and knew my history, but the on call doctor was really wonderful and put me at ease immediately. There was just something about her that I liked in all of the chaos. While all of this was going on, I was having contractions that had me arching my back, screaming through my teeth, and crying. I’ve had back labor with all three pregnancies and this time around I have a messed up back and I believe that made the contractions ten times worse. I was panicking and trying to find my husband through my blurry, tear filled vision, I remember seeing him put his scrubs on that they gave him and I remember my mom showing up ten minutes before they took me back to the operating room.

By the time we got to the operating room, I was beyond hurting, I really wanted to push, and I was down right miserable. Hubby wasn’t aloud to come back there until I was numb and laid down and all I could keep thinking was I wanted him. I wanted him right next to me, right that second, and he couldn’t be. Thankfully, the anesthesiologist got to work right away on numbing me and right in the middle of him doing so, I had a contraction coming on. Him and one of the OR nurses kept saying I had to be still and I remember muttering, “I can’t. I can’t.” and shaking my head. The last thing I wanted to do was move while he was sticking a needle in my back, but I also knew I couldn’t sit still through it. The OR nurse said, “You HAVE to stay still, just squeeze my hands and scream through it.” That’s exactly what I did. I’m surprised I didn’t break her hand and the scream I let out was a piercing one, but that nurse took it like a champ and it worked, it kept me still enough for him to finish. It only took seconds for the medicine to kick in and before I knew it, the lower half of me was completely numb. They laid me back on the table, put up that big blue curtain, and then Hubby came in and I was so happy to see him.

I had heard some horror stories about having a c-section and I was really nervous about what it was going to be like, but I didn’t feel anything as the doctor cut me open and pulled my sweet babies out. From this point on, everything was a little hazy, but when she said Baby B was out and that beautiful cry pierced the room, relief flooded through me. “Okay.” I thought to myself, “One baby down, one to go. Please God let Baby A come out crying too.” Two minuter later she said Baby A was out and he too let out a beautiful piercing cry. Tears filled my eyes. They were out, they were crying, and so far they were okay.

Shortly after the babies were out and after she finished tying my tubes, I started to have a panic attack on the table. The lower half of me was numb, my arms were pinned down by straps, my upper back was starting to hurt, and I wanted to see my babies. I wanted off that damn table and I began to panic. I don’t really remember anything after the panic attack started, but Hubby said I kept trying to pull my arms free of the straps and I kept twisting my upper body causing the doctor to have to stop working on me. He had a little chat with the anesthesiologist at this point that he said went a little something like this.

Hubby: “Dude, are you going to give her something to knock her out?”
A: “No, this is normal. She’ll stop.”
Hubby: “No, she won’t. I know my wife and she’s not going to stop. Give her something right now.”

I now thank God that my husband said that because I don’t remember that conversation, them taking the babies away, or the rest of the panic attack. I remember waking up back in the labor room and seeing my husband, my mom, my sister in law & my brother in law all waiting for me to come around. I was so happy to see people who loved me, but it wasn’t long before the pain hit me and the panic of not having my babies with me, hit me. Thankfully my mom got the nurse to give me more pain meds and then Hubby and my mom were able to go see the twins in the nicu. Once my mom came back, my brother in law and sister in law each took a turn going down to nicu with my husband to see the babies. I’m not going to lie, I was upset and jealous that they were getting to see my babies before I was, but I hoped it wouldn’t be long before I would be going back to see them. When Hubby and my brother in law walked back in, the nurse followed. She told me she was moving me to another room, but first I was being wheeled back to see my babies. My mom kissed and hugged me and left to go home where my step-dad and boys were and my BIL & SIL went to the room I was going to be staying in, while Hubby and the nurse wheeled my bed into nicu.

It was a huge shock to see my babies. They had cpaps on and ivs and wires everywhere. I couldn’t stop the tears if I had tried. My heart broke into a million pieces and all I wanted to do was hold them and cuddle them and I couldn’t. All I could do was hold their little hands and stare at them. It was so hard and it wasn’t long before I had to be wheeled back to my room.

I plan on sharing more about how I felt during this time and the days to follow because that deserves a post of it’s own. For now, I’ll end their birth story here and let y’all know that they are doing good. I will have a post up in a day or two about the progress they have made and sharing more pictures. I want to thank everyone who prayed and is continuing to pray for our sweet babies. It means the world to us.

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I was supposed to have 8 weeks left

November 10, 2014 - 2 Comments

Technically it would have been ten weeks, but we were scheduled to have a c-section at eight weeks. I was supposed to feel their little kicks, enjoy their movement, and savor those last eight weeks as my babies grew safe inside of me. When I was put on bed rest, I really relished in their every move because I was able to really focus and enjoy them more since I wasn’t up and going all day. I even felt K.D. hiccup for the first time a few days before I went into labor, it was the sweetest feeling. I was supposed to have eight more weeks to bask in those pregnancy moments, in those little hiccups, in those sweet moments, but that all changed last Saturday morning {November 1st}…

I woke up at 4:30 in the morning with contractions. I didn’t panic at first because I had been having a few contractions everyday since being put on bed rest. I got up, walked to the kitchen, grabbed a glass of cold ice water, took my contraction medicine, and laid back down in bed on my left side. After I was laying there for a few minutes, I noticed the contractions were coming pretty close together at this point so I started timing them. They were two to three minutes apart. A spurt of panic rushed through me, but I forced myself to stay calm and told myself my medicine just needed time to kick in. Well, after an hour of laying there and sipping on my water, they were still two to five minutes apart. I woke up Hubby to let him know I was having contractions. I told him we might need to go to the hospital, but I would let him know for sure. He looked at me with concern and asked if I was okay. I told him I didn’t know, but I would let him know if we needed to go. I grabbed my phone to look up ways to stop early labor and had read that if they weren’t true contractions, that taking a warm shower would get them to stop so into the shower I went. In the shower I still had a few, but afterwards when I curled up on the couch to start timing them again, they seemed to be loosing severity and were anywhere from two to ten minutes apart instead of two to five. I started to get relieved because that meant they were spacing out. I think at this point, I was in huge denial that I was in labor which is why I was doing everything I could to try and stop them. I wasn’t ready to be in labor and I didn’t want to be in labor. Well, around 6:30 I texted my mom and told her what was going on. She didn’t like how long I had been having the contractions for and I could tell she was worried.

Shortly after I texted her, the contractions started coming on full force; they were extremely painful and they were coming every two to three minutes again. I couldn’t take it anymore, I was having to breathe through each contraction and real panic started to hit as the reality sunk in. I couldn’t stop the contractions and I was in labor again. I woke Hubby up again, this time in tears, and told him to get ready and get the boys ready because we had to go and we had to go now. It took him maybe twenty minutes and during that twenty minutes the contractions got worse. I remember being in the kitchen and one of the contractions hit and it literally brought me to my knees, I couldn’t stand up, and I cried out in pain for my husband. After that, each contraction was just as bad. Hubby loaded the boys up in the car and we dropped the boys off at my moms house. I remember thinking that maybe I should wait at my moms house and call 911 because I just didn’t think I was going to make it to the hospital in this kind of pain. I didn’t though and I decided to just get to the hospital as fast as we could. So, once we dropped them off, Hubby hauled ass to the hospital. At this point, the pain was so bad that I was shaking during each contraction from trying not to scream. When a contraction hit, my teeth were clenched, my body shook, and I had a hard time even breathing through the contraction. I remember as we got closer to the hospital that I started to feel pressure and I told Hubby there was pressure as more tears filled my eyes. I wasn’t ready for this. Once we got to the hospital, Hubby ran inside to grab a wheel chair, he wheeled me in, and they got me back into a room very fast. The nurse hooked me up to the monitor to make sure the babies were okay, thankfully they were, and at this point I could no longer stop a small scream from escaping from my clenched teeth with each contraction.

The nurse checked me and said, “Well, you are having these babies today. You’re dilated to a seven.”

Instant tears welled up in my eyes as I looked over at my husband, I saw my worry reflected on his face. “This isn’t supposed to happen, it’s not time yet.” I blubbered. He squeezed my hand and then I was wheeled into a labor room where they began to prep me for an emergency c-section…

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Bump Update – 29 weeks

October 24, 2014 - Leave a Comment

STATS:

How far along am I? I’ll be 29 weeks tomorrow.
How big are the babies? The babies are each the size of a large butternut squash. At my doctors appointment the other day Baby A was 2 pounds 9 Ounces and Baby B was 2 Pounds 9 Ounces! Yep, they weight the same.
Total weight gain? Sigh, 22 pounds so far. When I let out a noise of disgust at my doctors appointment, the nurse gladly reminded me I was carrying two babies and not just one and that I was doing just fine with my weight.
Sleep? Some nights I sleep through the night and other nights I’m up several times going pee.
Best moment of the week? Was not giving birth and being able to come home and be on bed rest instead of in the hospital on bed rest. Oh, another good moment, I passed my glucose test! Yay!
Food cravings? Ramon noodles, cheddar popcorn, and Reese’s! Hasn’t changed from last week except to add cherry slurpees!

Symptoms:
Tired, hungry, and swelling! Fun huh?

Movement:
We have some active babies in my belly. They move so much. I can feel them, Hubby can feel them, the boys can feel them, heck anyone who wants to feel them can! You can also see my stomach move when they move now! {Same as last week}

What I’m looking forward to:
Keeping these babies inside as long as possible, finishing up crochet projects, and making crafts for the nursery.

Next Appointment:
In two weeks.

Nursery update:
No update since last week! As you know I got put on strict bed rest at home so I haven’t been able to work on the nursery. This weekend though, I’ll be sitting in there supervising while Hubby and the boys get some things organized for me!

Gender:
Still two little boys in there! =D

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3 ways I’m staying hydrated with fruity drinks

October 22, 2014 - 7 Comments

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #PlatinumPoints #CollectiveBiasThis has definitely been the hardest pregnancy I’ve had so far. From starting my pregnancy with back problems, horrible morning sickness in the first trimester, restless leg syndrome, and now being put on strict bed rest… it hasn’t been a walk in the park. I don’t like to complain about all the bad things though because I know how incredibly blessed I am to be pregnant, to be carrying two sweet babies, and to be able to be on bed rest in the comfort of my home and not in the hospital. One of the big things I’ve been trying to do this pregnancy, is drink more water. I am so not a fan of plain water and I have to have some sort of fruity drink flavor in my water, otherwise I just can’t stand it. Since the beginning of this pregnancy I’ve been trying to find different drink mixes to try to up my water intake. It is really important in pregnancy to drink lots of water for all different kinds of reasons, but now that I’ve had contractions and am on bed rest, it’s even more important to keep myself hydrated to help keep contractions at bay.

Thankfully, I have found a few ways to make sure I’m getting plenty of water and making sure it’s flavored! Here are my top three ways I’ve been making sure to drink plenty of water this pregnancy.

1. Avoiding keeping soda in my house. This is a big one because if there is soda in my house, I’m more likely to grab a soda than a glass of water. I’ve always been a big soda drinker and this has been the best thing I’ve done to kick my soda addiction. I still allow myself a soda a day, but keeping them out of my house has helped so much.

2. Crystal Light Liquid Drops! These are my new favorite and I am so glad I found them at walmart! They have so many different flavors and it makes flavoring my water super easy. Especially when I don’t feel like making a pitcher of flavored water or running to the gas station to grab a bottle of water. I can simply feel my favorite cup up with water, put a couple of drops of whatever flavor I feel like drinking in my cup, stir it up, and let my taste buds do a happy dance!

3. I make a pitcher of flavored water. Seriously, this is a big one too because then it’s already ready and I don’t have to make anything. I use crystal light products to do this too. Not only do they have a lot of flavors in the liquid drops, but they have tons of flavors in there other products as well and it makes it so much easier to drink water when it’s yummy!

Those are my top three ways that are helping me stay hydrated! How do you drink enough water throughout the day? Are you a soda addict like I was? Do you think you’ll try and replace a few soda’s with the cystal light liquid drops?!

p.s. Another bonus about using Crystal Light is you can earn rewards by purchasing Crystal Light products! At the end of the Platinum Points Loyalty program, we’ll randomly select one winner. All purchases must be made by December 31, 2014, receipts submissions must be submitted by November 15, 2014, and points redemptions must be submitted by January 15, 2015. See Official Rules for details.

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We knew it was coming

October 21, 2014 - 4 Comments

{Warning, this post is a little TMI, if you don’t like that type of post, I would go ahead and stop reading}

I have officially been put on bed rest. We knew it was coming, but we didn’t think it would be so soon or that it would happen like it did. I had always assumed I would be put on bed rest later in my pregnancy because of my back, not because I was going into labor early…

It started on Saturday when I was having what I thought were a few braxton hicks contractions, they hurt and they were in my back, but I definitely didn’t think they were real contractions. They didn’t last long and eventually they stopped. Well, Sunday morning I had a few again, but again they stopped so I just assumed they were braxton hicks again. Little did I know at the time, they weren’t.

Sunday I was feeling a bit off, I really don’t know how else to describe it other than the fact that I just didn’t feel like myself. Well, Sunday afternoon I went pee for the fiftieth time and noticed that my pee was a very bright yellow/green. To say I was slightly freaked out about that is probably an understatement, but I wasn’t sure it was cause for concern so I didn’t do anything about it. I waited about thirty minutes and went pee again to just check and see if it was the same. This time though, there was a pretty good size wet spot in my panties and after I went pee, my pee was the same as it was thirty minutes prior. I decided to do what I do best when I’m not sure about something, I Googled it. Well, I didn’t like what I was reading so I called the on call number for my doctor and left a message explaining what happened. Ten minutes later I got a call back and was told I needed to come up to Labor and Delivery to get checked out, they wanted to make sure my amniotic fluid wasn’t leaking.

I told Hubby about it, we got ready, loaded the kids up, and dropped the boys off at my mom’s house and headed up to the hospital. We got back in a room quickly and the questions and tests began. They did a test to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid and to see if I was in preterm labor. At this point I was having contractions two to three minutes apart and they were hurting. Thankfully the amniotic fluid test came back negative, my cervix was closed and I wasn’t dilating. Unfortunately the preterm labor test came back positive. That test tells you there is a 45% chance you could go into labor within the next 2 weeks. I didn’t like that one bit.

Well, since my contractions were so close and so intense they went ahead and admitted me to the hospital, gave me medicine for the pain and medicine to try and stop the contractions. I got about four hours of sleep and Monday around eleven, my contractions were coming again like they were Sunday night which meant the first medicine to try and stop the contractions weren’t working and that scared me. They decided to try a different medicine to try and stop the contractions again and check my cervix again to make sure nothing changed. Thankfully my cervix hadn’t changed and the new contraction meds were working. I was also super emotional yesterday, I kept crying on and off and just feeling sad and worried. My poor husband was taken by surprise when I just randomly burst into tears, but he comfortred me and told me everything was going to be okay. I knew I was just worried and exhausted and that’s what brought on the random crying, but I still hate breaking down like that. I also wanted to go home, I wanted to see my boys, and if I was going to be on bed rest, I wanted to be on bed rest from home. Thankfully, by six pm, I had only had one or two contractions and I was doing/feeling better so my doctor said I could go home.

I’ll be on bed rest at home until he says otherwise and I have to continue taking the contraction meds. We are so thankful the babies weren’t born yesterday and we are praying they stay put awhile longer! That was a scary experience and I’ll be doing everything I can to keep these babies baking for a while longer!

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Bump Update – 27 weeks

October 16, 2014 - 1 Comment

How far along am I? 27 weeks and 6 days.
How big are the babies? The babies are each the size of a cauliflower. At my last doctors appointment 3 weeks ago, Baby A was 1 Pound 9 Ounces and Baby B was 1 Pound 7 Ounces.
Total weight gain? 2 weeks ago I had already gained 14 pounds. According to this website, they are now almost 2lbs each!
Sleep? My sleep has gotten a little better. My restless leg syndrome still acts up and I still have to pee a couple of times throughout the night, but the new muscle relaxer they put me on is helping me sleep.
Best moment of the week? Hubby has been home this week and him being able to feel the babies kick or watch my stomach move whenever he wants has been absolutely wonderful!
Food cravings? Ramon noodles, cheddar popcorn, and Reese’s! Hasn’t changed from last week!

Symptoms:
Mainly just being tired a lot and having to pee way too many times throughout the day! lol.

What I’m looking forward to:
Sonogram next week and working on the nursery some more!

Next Appointment:
Next week.

Nursery update:
We’ve made a bit of progress since my baby shower. We moved Hubby’s desk out of the nursery and moved the big shelf type thing from our room into the nursery that is going to be used as storage for diapers/wipes and some of their clothes. I also washed all of the newborn outfits we got and hung them up/folded them. We also got a glider from my mother in law as my baby shower gift!

Gender:
Still two little boys in there! =D

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Dr. Seuss Baby Shower

October 12, 2014 - 13 Comments

My baby shower was this weekend! It was so amazing and was so much better than I imagined. We decided to have it early because in our family, we have a lot of birthdays in November and December, plus the holidays, we wanted to go ahead and do it while everyone was free and things weren’t so busy. I came across a Thing 1 and Thing 2 baby shower on Pinterest and that’s where the inspiration came from for my shower. I pinned a bunch of stuff I loved and then shared it with my mom, my cousin, and my sister in law who were throwing the shower with me. They did such an amazing job and I can’t thank them enough for putting such a beautiful and fun shower together for me!

The diaper cake my mom made for me! She crocheted everything on there and then put it all together! It’s so beautiful and I don’t even want to take it apart, but I definitely want the twins wearing all of that cuteness. There is a thing 1 and thing 2 hate. Booties. Mittens. Wash clothes. Rattles. Bottle warmers. Diapers and more! She did a beautiful job and is so talented! Thanks mom!

Isn’t everything beautiful?! There were blue and red streamers, blue and red polka dot balloons, blue and red candy, parfaits, big red and big blue, cheese and cracker trays, blue cupcakes, and a wonderful cake! I still can’t get over how perfect everything was! Here is a few pictures from the shower!

What do you think? Didn’t they do a fabulous job?!

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Bump Update – 26 weeks

October 7, 2014 - 10 Comments

STATS:

How far along am I? 26 weeks and 4 days.
How big are the babies? The babies are each as long as a zucchini. At my last doctors appointment 2 weeks ago, Baby A was 1 Pound 9 Ounces and Baby B was 1 Pound 7 Ounces.
Total weight gain? 2 weeks ago I had already gained 14 pounds.
Sleep? I’ve been going to sleep pretty early at night when I can. I’ve developed restless leg syndrome this pregnancy and so falling asleep is sometimes hard and if it’s not the RSL, it’s not being able to get comfortable. Once I fall asleep though, I wake up a couple of times through the night to pee since Baby B is sitting on my bladder!
Best moment of the week? Feeling them move around so much and seeing them move. You can actually see my stomach jump now and I love it. Another highlight was Kage kissing my belly. It was so sweet!
Food cravings? Ramon noodles, cheddar popcorn, and Reese’s!

Symptoms:
I had about a month where my energy came back and now it’s gone again. I only have energy randomly which is annoying. Peeing all the freaking time and being emotional!

Movement:
They are moving a lot! They are super active and you can see their kicks now because my stomach jumps!

What I’m looking forward to:
My baby shower is on Saturday {We are having it early because there are a lot of birthdays the next couple of months and all the holidays} and I’m definitely looking forward to that! I can’t wait to celebrate with family! After the shower, I can finally start working on the nursery and buying things that we still need.

Next Appointment:
In a couple of weeks.

Nursery update:
So far we only have a crib in there! That will be changing after the baby shower this weekend!

Gender:
Still two little boys in there! =D

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I”m going to miss these little moments

October 2, 2014 - 1 Comment

Jay was staying at my mom’s with his cousin over the weekend, they haven’t gotten to do that in a little while since we were on vacation. Kage and I had just finished up dinner and he climbed into Hubby and I’s bed and fell asleep. I was wondering if I should curl up next to him and take a nap too or wake him up. I walked into the room, climbed into bed, and ran my hand over his hair. He briefly stirred and his little eyes fluttered open.

“Do you want mommy to take a nap with you?” I asked him.
He mumbled a little, “Yes.”

So, I laid down next to him and he put his little arm around my neck to pull me close and he fell back asleep.

I laid there looking at all his little features and tears formed in my eyes. I couldn’t help but think that I wasn’t going to have too many moments like this after the babies are born. Another thing I’m going to miss is walking Jay into school and I know he’s going to miss it too. It’s always been our thing since he started school. Every morning, Kage stays home with daddy since they are both asleep, and Jay and I head to school drop off. I park a little bit away and then we walk hand in hand into school as we talk. After the twins arrive, I know there is a very good chance that I’ll be taking all the kids with me in the morning for school drop off, which means I’ll be dropping Jay off and letting him walk in alone. I’m sure we will still have some days where I can walk him in, but I know for the most part, those days will be few and far between.

I’ve shared a few of my worries about having twins, but there is some I haven’t talked about. Some that are just little and hit me at random times. Like that moment, when I knew I had to cherish it because I know those moments with Jay or Kage are going to be rare after the twins arrive. Trying to prepare myself for becoming a twin momma when I already have two kids has been a little hard, but most of the time, I’m ready for it. Times like that though, times when I know I’m going to miss certain moments so fiercely, it hits me, and I can’t help but worry how it’s going to affect the boys.

I wonder how it’s going to affect me. How I’m going to deal with missing out on these little moments that I cherish now. How I’m going to feel not being able to enjoy these little moments with them.

I know this might be a silly, irrational worry, but it’s on my mind.

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Bonding with the twins

September 7, 2014 - Leave a Comment

One thing I cherish so deeply is the bonding moments I had with my boys. Those sweet times when they were babies that they simply laid on my chest as I rocked them or fell asleep in my arms while they were eating and I just let them sleep there because it was too precious a moment to move them. I remember the hours I spent watching them, the warm feeling that spread through me as I realized the precious baby in my arms was mine. I would take the time to memorize every aspect of their faces, I would relish in the sweet baby smell that enveloped them, and I would watch their chest rise and fall as they breathed. I could do all those things because I had the time to do those things. I could spend hours bonding with both of them when they were babies because I had the time to do so.

I have had a few different worries about having twins, but bonding with them the way I did the boys, is a major worry for me. I wonder with two small children and two babies, how on earth am I going to bond with them the way I did Jay and Kage? How am I going to have the time to just sit there and relish in these sweet little ones that God has blessed me with? How am I going to be able to lay with one of them on my chest and just feel the rhythm of their breathing for any length of time? How am I going to divide that bonding time equally? How am I going to be able to focus on just one baby at a time and bathe in that babies beauty? I fear I won’t be able to. That my attention will automatically go to both of them. That I will feel bad for holding one while the other is in a swing. That I won’t be able to bond with them individually the way I did with the boys.

I know these are probably silly worries. I know a few twin mama’s in this blogging world and they seem to be bonding with their little ones just fine. The worry is there though, probably because twins is an unknown to me. I’ve been used to one baby at a time. {Although I had a toddler when Kage was born, I still had that time to bond wih Kage like I did Jay.} I just want to feel that bond with the twins, I want to bond with them as twins and separately and it’s overwhelming to think about the fact that I may not be able to do that.

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