Beauty and The Boys

Have you heard that song by Keith Urban? If not, I would definitely give it a listen. It’s an excellent song and it really makes you think about raising your kids right. One of my favorite parts of the song is…

“Raise em’ up
Trophy high
Raise em’ up
To the sky
Raise em’ up
Show everybody that new born smile
Raise em’ up
Tall and strong
Raise em’ up
Right from wrong
Raise em’ up so damn high they can hear God singing along”

Having sisters and lots of brother + sister in laws who all have kids. I’ve learned that we all have a different parenting style. Even though there are similarities in the way we raise our kids, there are also difference. I’ve had many long chats with all my sisters and even my brothers about parenting, motherhood, and seeing the similar and different way my BILs and husbands raise their kids. Having a big family taught me quickly that not every one parents the same, but it doesn’t make the things you don’t agree with wrong. I think we all do the best we can through this crazy parenting journey. We are all learning as we go and we are all doing what we feel is best for our children. I’m often curious about how others raise their kids. Maybe I’ll learn something new from having a chat about parenthood with a family member, friend, or even another mom I don’t personally know. Maybe I’ll find that the way I’m doing things, is absolutely perfect for our family. Maybe I’ll find myself questioning why another parent isn’t doing something that they probably should be. When momma’s come to me for advice or I’m offering up advice in the mom group I’m in, I always try to be gentle with my response to whatever their asking, especially if it differs from the way I parent. I know what it’s like to have people not agree with some parts of how we parents so, I always try and give my advice by offering what I do or would do in a situation, without sounding like I know it all or without trying to make another mom feel bad. I know most mom’s are doing the best they can for their family and situation. With all that being said, I thought it would be a great idea to share a few things I believe in when it comes to raising up my children.

1. I believing in loving them through the rough patches. If you have little ones than you know what I mean by this. The teething, the sleep regressions, the terrible twos, the terrifying threes, the tears when they don’t get their way, etc. I’ve seen so many parents say they don’t like their kid or they hate motherhood or some version of that. I get it, motherhood is hard, it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do because it tests every part of you, but one thing you’ll never hear me say is that I don’t like my children. When they are going through these rough patches or chapters, that is all it is, is a small chapter, and what they need is to be loved through it. If you think kids can’t tell when someone doesn’t like them, you are sadly mistaken. Kids need to know they are loved always, even during the not so fun times. They don’t need to feel like the person who is supposed to love them, doesn’t like them.

2. I believe in discipline. Maybe that sounds weird after what I just said in number one, but I believe part of loving your children through the hard parts, is disciplining them. I believe teaching them right from wrong and little ones having consequences for their bad behavior, is so beneficial. I’ve seen the repercussions of no discipline and it’s not pretty. I love my kids enough to teach them while they are young, that no, you can’t get away with whatever you want. I believe in age appropriate punishment and your kids will thank you for that later in life. I’m glad I was raised that way, I’m glad I was not raised entitled or believing that I could do whatever I wanted and not get in trouble for it. It’s a valuable lesson that I think too many parents these days aren’t willing to teach their kids.

3. I believe in letting my kids express their emotions. I’ve never really understood why parents don’t allow this. I mean, when kids are happy they are allowed to express that right? Smiles, giggles, and laughter. So, why do they have to shut down the other ones? If my kids are sad, my shoulder is there and they know it’s okay to cry. If they are mad, we teach them that they can be mad, but their is a healthy way to be mad. Throwing a temper tantrum is not a good way, but I give them a voice and allow them to express to me their anger and why they are mad. It’s the same with any of their emotions. I’m not a person who is afraid to hide their emotions, I’ve always been pretty emotional. I didn’t always control certain emotions very well and I want to teach my kids that their are healthy ways to let certain feelings out and that mommy is always willing to listen. I may not tolerate screaming or throwing a fit, but when they having calmed down and are ready to vent, I’m here.

4. I believe in having a good balance of being a parent and being their friend. I know people who want to be their kids best friend over being their parent. They don’t want their little kids to ever be mad at them, they don’t ever want to upset them, be to strict, etc. The list goes on and on. When they are little, it’s obvious that you won’t to be your babies first best friend and that’s how it should be. It should be fun and tons of fun memories should be made. It’s also a time when you need to be the parent too though. I like being their friend and their parent, they know mommy is their bestie, but they also know they have to listen.

5. I believe in raising strong boys because one day, they will become strong men. I want to raise kids who know who they are and what they stand for. I want them to embrace who they are and embrace their flaws. I don’t want them to say, I want to be like so-so. No, I want them to be strong and sure of themselves. If I had daughters, I’d be raising strong daughters. I believe the world needs more people who know who they are, who stand for something that way they don’t fall for everything.

Those are four of my top ones. Maybe I’ll share some of my other ones later on and maybe I’ll share some of the things I don’t believe in, as well as things I struggle with in parenthood! So, tell me. Do you believe in any of the four? What is one of your top things you believe in when it comes to raising ’em up right? I would love to know!